Day 31 "Caught up"

Well, I determined that if it killed me I would get caught up on all my postings for the month before the month ended.

I DID IT! YEAH! I am pooped though and I have carpel tunnel. But hey, at least I am back no track with my project. So, feel free to check out my progress in it's entirety thus far :O)

It's Sunday, no mentor stalking today,

Peace out peeps.

Day 30 "Calling"

My calling is on my mind today. God is reminding me that if I am to fulfill my calling, I am to be disciplined in the tasks He has set before me. Today, I made gains toward that goal. Right now, finishing my thesis, course work for my other degree, and simple missionary duties are at the forefront of my brain EVERYDAY. I know that I am in training right now because I have a cosmic size desire to learn as much as I can about God and who I am in Him. Right now, I can't get enough exposure to God's Words and I am going to extreme lengths to be teachable and learn from as many people as I can.

Anyway, I know a little about my mentor's calling because I have researched it for my thesis. She talks about her calling in the Breaking Free series, especially in the video "The Display of His Splendor." Her calling first came to her as she was working as a counselor to sixth-grade girls. In an interview she noted, "Early one morning, as the girls were sleeping, I sensed God's presence enfold me. There were no audible words, no bright lights. But suddenly I knew, without a doubt, my future was entirely His." Her story is pretty interesting from this point out, but rabbit trailing there does not serve my purpose's today.

As God has reminded me of Beth's initial calling today, He reminds me of His pure intentions and desires for my life. I, too, was called early in life. My senior year of high school, God clearly revealed that I would serve Him with my vocational abilities. I didn't really get it at the time, I only knew that I should do what I could to learn how to be a better communicator. By this point, I was all ready OK with just going and doing whatever God had me to do - so it didn't really matter to me what I did - just that God was saying go and learn and get ready.

Well, college proved to be a challenge initially for me. I would say, I did keep learning - I pursued a communication degree. I remained in church and in love with God. But, I was at a secular college and the worldviews I was exposed to for a time tainted the purity of my calling. Relationships also impeded my pure view of it for a while. Though God was with me the whole time, teaching me, maturing me - I did not make very much gain on my calling for about three years.

Eventually, I transferred to a new school. This was the best decision I made for it put my heart and mind back in alignment to God's will. God has enabled me to make up for lost time and in the last six years I think He has educated me about my calling exponentially. He has also given me back the hunger I had for Him in my youth and increased that with an adult passion that has an unquenchable thirst for Him.

What's the point of all this? Well, today God is encouraging me. For awhile my mentor ebbed and flowed with her calling because God needed to work in her heart and help her "break free" from a few things. But now, she is living free and doing her best to serve God completely. Through this reminder God is reminding me not to get caught up in the times I have ebbed and flowed but to trust that He will use me despite the times I may not have glorified Him completely with my life choices. Oswald Chambers says more eloquently what my heart is thinking right now:

Living a life of faith means never knowing where you are being led. But it does mean loving and knowing the One who is leading. It is literally a life of faith, not of understanding the reason - a life knowing Him who calls us to go. Faith is rooted in the knowledge of a Person, and one of the biggest traps we fall into is the belief that if we have faith, God will surely lead us to success in the world. The final stage in the life of faith is the attainment of character, and we encounter many changes in the process. - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, March 19.

I am ridiculously in love with God, so at least I know I have that going for me :O) But, God is showing me the need to focus on Him. I'm just to be content no matter what He has me to do everyday, even if those things don't make sense to me. God gives me little glimpses of who and what I will do for Him one day - I think just to drive me in the direction I need to go in my education. Let's just say, I don't know how in the world He would ever get me there - I definitely know in my mind it doesn't seem feasible. But what I do know, is I am willing to submit to God. I'm willing to go through whatever training necessary to achieve His will for my life. For now, I rest in knowing that by obedient to Him I will fulfill my calling and that my love for God won't do anything but grow deeper.

To my new friend reading, just know - God desires the same for you :O)

Day 29 "You can do it"

You really can do it, you know. Whatever the harrowing path before you, you really can walk it victoriously. God will give you every place you step your feet for the glory of His name if you let Him. How do I know? For starters, Phillipians 4:13 claims that a servant of God can do all things - all things - through Christ who gives Him strength.

- Beth Moore, Believing God, pg. 103

There is something unique about the nearing finality of a task. Our senior year. The last semester of college. Resigning a job after many years. I don't know, it's a weird sensation wouldn't you agree? For me, I am in my last semester of my second Master's degree. I'm pushing forth trying to do my best, yet with the end in sight my insecurities about whether or not I can do it are increasing. I will admit to feeling overwhelmed today.

I don't think I am alone in feeling overwhelmed sometimes. There are projects, relationships, and circumstances that push us all to the brink right? But God used my mentor today to remind me of one of my favorite verses in Scripture: Phillipians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." She is right, we really can walk victoriously. Right now, though my mind is trying to convince me otherwise, I will simply repeat this truth until it is ingrained into my mind again. If I believe God can give me strength in other areas of my life, I can believe Him to give me strength, discernment and wisdom to finish my education right?

All right, I feel a little like Thomas the tank engine tonight, "I think I can, I think I can." LOL. But God is saying to me "DON'T THINK. KNOW YOU SILLY GOOSE! YOU CAN DO IT!" Yep, that is the key: He has been faithful to give me what I have needed before, so I will trust He will be faithful to give me what I need again.

Whew. My imaginary mentor gave me a good pep talk today LOL. I'm glad to be reminded of the strength of God my father.

Amen?

Tootles Peeps.

Day 28 "Deeper Peace"

God still has a vision for you. No matter where you've been, God's full intent is for you to live effectively (see John 15:8) and abundantly (see John 10:10). He loves you dearly, and the fact that you've been foolish doesn't diminish His love one single ounce. Talk to God. Echo the words of the psalmist when he cried:

If I should say, "My foot has slipped," Your loving kindness, O Lord, will hold me up. When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul. - Psalm 94:19-19 NASB

-Beth Moore, Looking Up, When Life is Looking Down, pg 36

Forgive me if my post is to "out there" today - I am in a deep thinking mode.

Today, I was really going to write about spontaneous worship. I had a glorious time of prayer and worship last night. But, I have to admit - my heart would not be truly reflected for today if I focused on my night last night. You see, my mind has just been in a fog today. I don't know if I am fighting off sickness or what - but I have just not been myself.

I've done what I can to make the most of my time, I could have done better. I worked briefly on some school work. Picked up the house. Made dinner. Laundry. All the homemaker duties. But, I've been dragging nonetheless. It was really a good day too - outside some of the most beautiful snow was falling. My house was peaceful, quite, and warm. I felt truly blessed today. I even had a really good nap. But still, something is amiss inside my soul.

As I looked for inspiration from my mentor, I came across this book. I'm really not feeling "down" per se, but nonetheless - I was drawn to the book. Basically, I just opened right up to this part and God spoke to me. He showed me that I am anxious today. Boo.

I know it seems weird, but I am not good at recognizing when I am anxious. My type A get it done personality usually always helps me to push past anxiousness. So if my spirit is feeling down, it usually takes me a minute to pick up on it. Maybe that is why God had me sit still a lot today - to just listen to Him. Even though my spirit had such a joyous time with Him last night, He showed me two things that creeped upon me this day: I am worried for some of my family members regarding their financial situation and I am worried that I am not going to get everything done that I need to before Monday.

Nothing really monumental right? But you know, it is to me because this unaddressed worry today kept me from the peace I could have enjoyed. I enjoyed God's presence today, but I did not enjoy His peace. Weird right? I mean, I know the economy issues right now are brutal - I have no idea how these particular family members are going to overcome their current situation. And, I am scared that there is no way I am going to make it through all the "to-do's" on my calendar, but you know this verse & message remind me that God is there to console me no matter my issue. I can know that God can use me no matter what. I don't just have to believe God is in control and is at work, I can truly let this belief and truth invade me and give me a more complete peace.

That's my goal for this year really. I don't just want to be "at peace." I would say I live free and in peace most of the time. But, I believe there is another level out there to be experienced. I know this because there have been some times where God's peace so washed over my mind, soul, and body that I almost felt as if I could accomplish anything. It's different than just the everyday peace that passes all understanding, it's deeper, more consuming. For me, it usually this happens right before I'm taking a huge step of faith to do something for God. I wonder, is it possible to have this everyday? If I could some how over come my mind and live in "step of faith" mentality for every task I do - would I be able to sense a deeper peace?

If life with God is really a wild ride - then it should be possible even in the ordinary of every day. I don't have the answer yet to my questions, but I believe God will reveal them to me in His time. For now, my heart is tuned to Him. I am ready and willing to do whatever He asks of me. I am ready to experience God on a new level. I trust God and I hope you will too no matter what you are going through today.

Song of the Day: Let the Waters Rise - Mikeschair

Day 27 "Expect the Unexpected"

God wants to do in your life what your eyes have never seen, you ears have never heard, and your mind has never conceived.

Beth Moore, Breaking Free (Workbook), pg. 31

Today is one of those days that flies by at the speed of light. I feel like I am getting nothing done whatsoever, but there is still a good portion of the day left. I know why, my heart is in a state of expectation today. Mentally, my brain is pinging all over the place. I feel like I am sitting here and any minute something awesome is going to happen or something not so awesome. I am waiting for some news, it will either be good or bad. Either way, life will continue on, but if God blesses me in an unexpected way with this request of mine, I will be put in a position for true success on a project that I am working on. I believe God will work for the good here whether or not this particular puzzle piece falls into place. OK. Enough with vague ramblings right? :o)

Something about this quote puts my heart at peace. Will God really do things in my life that I can't imagine? Yes, I believe He will. I never know what will happen in a day, but it is sure fun not knowing. There is something so cool about living spontaneously with God - it keeps life interesting.

Obviously, the message of Breaking Free is on my mind again today. Particularly, God drew my mind to thinking on "knowing God and believing in Him." Beth talks about this concept on Day one of week two in her 1999 Breaking Free bible study series. I like the Scripture associated with this:

"You are my witnesses,' declares the Lord, 'and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he."

- Isaiah 43:10

There is something so breathtaking about knowing that we are chosen by God. This concept washes over me in a fresh way today. It makes me feel alive. It makes me feel special. It gives me the motivation to do my best to make a difference with the life God has blessed me with. It makes me want to do everything I can to become a place where the Spirit can happily dwell.

She also adds this:

Trusting an invisible God is not something that comes naturally to any believer. A trust relationship grows only way: by stepping out in faith and making the choice to trust. This "step" can sometimes seem more than we can take, but God is anxious to help us overcome our unbelief. The ability to believe God develops most often through pure experience, "I found Him faithful yesterday. He will not be unfaithful today." (33)

I agree that trust is key to truly believing God. I don't disagree that sometimes this is so hard. Especially if you have endured past situations where your trust in someone has been violated. However, I know God is asking me to take some steps of faith today. (This blog is one of them). He's asking me to take steps of faith in regards to my project. But it is so scary sometimes. Days like today I really have to work to remind myself of God's promises. I have to remember that I am chosen. God does want me to be a witness for Him. And, God allows me to be able to believe Him and to know Him.

So what now? Well, I just look forward to the wild ride that is God. I will embrace, "expecting the unexpected" as a lifestyle. It is my life all ready, but today I can look on it with a new drive and new commitment. I will remember that God is faithful and He is control of EVERYTHING.

Song of the day: Follow You by Leeland (Feat. Brandon Heath)

***UPDATE

There is absolutely no reason I should have received good news in regards to what I needed for my project. But God intends to show me favor today!!! I got a yes. I'm not really comfortable sharing with you guys what it is that I received, but let me just say the feeling is something like this: Imagine the feeling you get when you are doing what makes you most happy AND TRIPLE IT!

For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.

Psalm 84:11

I can not say that I deserve the favor - who really does after all? But, I can say that I am so grateful to God for what He has done for me today that I feel like my heart is going to explode!

Day 26 "The Connection"

Well, today I thought it would be appropriate to reveal my connection to Beth Moore. Why is she apart of my life anyway? I still don't really know, Lord willing by the end of this year I can gain some better insight about it.

So here is the deal. I didn't even really know who she was until about three years ago. It was spring semester 2007. It's weird really that I hadn't heard of her before because I've been in church my whole life, I think it was just that I was not "of age" for her messages. However, if I had known about her, I guarantee she would have been a part of my life sooner. Anyway, I had probably heard her name before but who knows? What I do know is that God ordained her entry into my life and memory at the age of 25.

I was working to find a woman's speaker that I could study for my master's thesis project. Originally, I proposed to my committee that I would study five women for my project, but God's plan ended up being that I focus solely on Beth Moore. As I did the prep work on my project (which I'll tell you about another time), my spirit just reacted differently to what I was learning about her. I knew I wanted to learn more. I knew God wanted me to learn more. So, I just jumped in with both feet. For now, you will just have to trust me when I say, my life has been drastically changed as a result of this decision.

I visited a local church to hear one of her messages. A women's group was studying her series Daniel. I asked the local director if I could join their group. They were on like message six and it was crazy intense. From then on out my spirit was hooked. I knew God was setting my feet upon a path that would change me forever. Obviously, she hasn't been my sole focus these last years - God's had a lot of other things to teach me as well - but I won't lie God keeps dropping her in my life at the craziest of times.

This woman from no where just dropped on my soul like the bomb at Hiroshima. God showed me a person who was living body and soul the passion in my heart. I had never met or seen anyone who seemed to project my passion for God. Her passion for God's Word just blew me away and gave me a new level to strive for. I study communication for a living. I like to teach people how to be better communicators and leaders. More than anything, I want God to use me to glorify His name and to teach others how a passionate relationship with Him is the best thing ever! But, there is something underlying in her messages that you just can't teach and I knew I wanted to understand that so I could apply it to my own calling. The more I learn about her, the more I respect her. Until this blog, I've been guarded about my feelings about it. I've kept what God has been teaching me through her all to myself. The main reason is because I did not want anyone to think I am like a psycho stalker involved in hero worship of some kind. My generation easily falls into the trap of hero worship and I did not want to fall into that regarding Beth. But, since I've all ready jumped on the crazy train and I am doing this blog - I thought you should know why she interests me.

I'll never forget the first time I heard her speak live. A few months after starting my project I went home (happened to be CT at the time) to visit my parents. And guess what, it just so happened that my mom and her church group were going to see her live and in person in Rhode Island. The timing of it was clearly God. Attending solidified my decision to study her for my thesis and inspired me to go deeper with God.

Eventually, I narrowed my thesis project down to studying her Breaking Free message. The reason for this is because this is her "life message." (And, what I can tell after three years.. . it pretty much offers her a lot of inspiration in her other works.) I was pretty sure before Christmas break of that year that I had made the right choice. Wanna know how God confirmed it? I was visiting family in Texas (I'm from Lufkin originally) and I was about two hours from Houston. By this time, my research had shown me that she still taught on Tuesday nights. I looked into going. And it so happened that two days before I was to fly out of Houston Hobby - guess who was starting up Bible study? And guess what the topic was? Yep. She was teaching an updated version of Breaking Free. When I saw that online I was in shock. I knew that God was speaking into my life at that moment. I knew He had me in Texas for it so I went. I loaded up my mom and grandma and I went. It was awesome and I could not believe that God blessed me with such an opportunity.

After that pretty much everything went down hill in regards to my thesis. Let me tell you this, studying Breaking Free is no joke. If you just do it normally, you will likely endure some sort of spiritual attack. But me, it came full force. I know for a fact the enemy has done everything in His power to side track me from proving the biblical validity of this message. I can't tell you all the warfare I have had to overcome. I felt stupid. I have wanted to give up many times. I have endured physical and financial hardships. Let's just say Hell has let open the gates on this one. But, I'm still persevering two years later and I will finish this thesis project if it is the last thing God enables me to do on this Earth.

Many cool things have resulted as well from this project. The amount of people I have gotten to meet is ridiculous. One of my favorite times had to be when in I was in Houston with Beth's peeps. I got to meet a lot of her staff and her assistant - they respect her just as much as I do. They were so loving and had so many positive things to say. And, since then, I've met a lot of other people who work to make her messages available to others. She represents an example for me. Her life hasn't been perfect, but it is obvious that she is letting God use her life for the good. And, I just can't help but respect that.

Anyway, I could go on. I've heard her speak several times since. But for now, at least you know how she came into my life. Other stories will emerge as this project continues. For now, I'll stop so I don't get carpel tunnel :O)

This year, I'm taking it too a new level. I'll finish my thesis and I will allow God to work in me and through Beth to teach me more about living for Him. He wants me to be more focused in my learning, so here goes nothing. It's going to be a pivotal year, I can tell.

Day 25 "My Thesis"

I'm up for a short post today. Two things have occurred to me: One, I should tell you about my thesis project because it gives context to my life outside the blog & two, you should know about my connection to Beth. So today the thesis - tomorrow the connection.

I thought you ought to know that part of my interest in Beth Moore is because of a project that I am working on: MY THESIS. You will understand why I chose her to be the focus of this project tomorrow, but what you need to know today is that this thesis project stands between me and my first Master's degree. This project should have been done 2008. Obviously, since it is taking up part of my blog now - that goal was not reached.

There are many reasons both of my own fault and reasons outside of me that this project has not been finalized. All that matters now is that God is teaching me perseverance through the project. And, if all continues as I am planning now - in a month or so I should report good news about my thesis being done.

My thesis - in short - revolves around analyzing Beth Moore's Breaking Free message. Basically, what I am trying to do is identify the underlying messages beneath the obvious messages in the video portion of this series. Pretty much, what is she saying without saying it? To do this, I am using a communication method to help me identify these components. The second step is to prove whether or not the message is biblically valid and in accordance with the Baptist Faith and Message. I know this summary is a bunch of goobleygook, but when the project is done - I'll make it available and then it will all make a little more sense.

Why isn't it done? Loads of reasons. One is, I gave up for a while and just started a whole other Master's Degree. God has since restored my faith in the project and now I am continuing on. So just maybe in May - I'll graduate with both degrees :)

The point of this whole post is just to let you know why it is Beth Moore is on my mind at least once a day. Until the weight of this project is off my shoulders - she looms here in my subconscious just begging to be analyzed. And until I finish - the project will be a burden I carry. God is with me though and teaching me a lot through the project - for that I can remain encouraged and grateful for the experience.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery.

- Galations 5:1 NIV

Day 24 "Cooperation"

Often, we just don't know what God is doing. So often we think we do but, the truth is, we just don't. Thankfully, He does. He really does. He doesn't need our help. Our brilliant ideas. Or our last ditch efforts because He ignored our first ten suggestions. He just wants our cooperation.

- Beth Moore, LPM Blog, January 16

Today was an interesting day. I don't really know how to explain it. There was nothing bad about it, yet I could not shake this feeling that I am under the strongest spiritual attack. Yet, I've just known all day that God is with me, still protecting me. God confirmed His protection for me through my pastor's sermon. Through the story of Jacob & Laban in Genesis 31, God reminded me that He has a plan for me. And, that even when I sin or make mistakes (like Jacob) He can redeem me and do His good work. (If you have read the story of Jacob, man this is a messed up story in the beginning - I'm telling you too messed up for me to get into now....but if you ever want to read a soap opera - this will do it.) Right now, I don't feel like I need redemption from any overt sin in my life. As you can tell from the blog, God has enabled me to live free so far this year. However, I will not deny that my biggest weakness is still insecurity.

I admit this because it is the way the enemy attacks me. If you have been reading my blog posts up until this point you will know God has taken me to a new level in being secure with Him. I've been kicking the Evil One off my land for almost a month now, but today, words can hardly describe the mental war in my head. I know it is because I am allowing God to take over any remaining damaged parts of me and redeem them. But the enemy will not have it. Through the strength God provides I will prevails.

Through her blog today, Beth reminds me that it doesn't matter if I get what is going on in my life - all I need to do is cooperate with God through the process. For now, that means just keeping on...keeping on... you know? Today this was difficult. God desired for me to let a friend in on the strong insecurities I was feeling in my head. I'll be honest, this was super hard & I almost did not do it. But you know what? Letting a friend in on what lies the Enemy was working to convince me of really did make a difference. Telling her seemed to kind of take power from the Enemy and give me a little more strength to fight him off. Imagine that - cooperating with God's Spirit inside me really did pay off today :O)

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present not the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 8:38-39.

Song of the Day: Thankful by Mary Mary

Day 23 "Protection"

When I wrote the first series, my life transformed dramatically. The enemy watched a forest fire of unquenchable passion ignite my heart for God, and suddenly I went from being an "interest" and a "concern' to being a "threat." At that point, I, like hosts of others who are serious about God, went into the crosshairs of the devils weapon. You see, we don't became a major threat until we begin to walk relentlessly in truth.

-Beth Moore, Praying God's Word, p303

God blessed me with an amazing prayer time today. It was much needed because I can not shake this ominous feeling I have had the last few days. The feeling is like being aware of that there is a war around me. Yet, right now, I feel an extra strong connection with God. I sense He is really working on something around me. Truthfully, I just feel like He is protecting me from something and He is just doing me this huge favor of not letting me know what it is. If that is true, I am OK with that.

Anyway, it has me thinking of the Enemy. I knew right where to go for inspiration today. It was an easy one - God wanted me to learn how to better pray off the enemy. My mentor, has a good resource for that: Praying God's Word. You don't need the book to do it, but since I am really trying to learn from her right now - it was pertinent that I made that choice. As I read her explanation of overcoming the enemy this quote stood out to me. I felt like God was giving me some insight to my current situation.

I am doing my very best to take my relationship with God to a new and deeper level. In fact, I am giving my whole life and even my career choices for the effort. I have been under attack before. I mean I am 28 - I've been called to full service to God since I was at least 18 or even before. But, this year I want to be more sold out - more dedicated - more disciplined - more blatantly alive for the cause of Christ. Like Beth reminds me, I think that makes my target bigger. It's scary, but it doesn't change my heart. Like Beth, I want to relentlessly walk in the truth.

I like this prayer she provides in the same book based on Ps. 16:1-2, pg 314:

Keep me safe, O God, for in You I take refuge. I say to You, Lord, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing."

God is my good thing. He is my protector. For this I am eternally thankful. Fight the enemy friends, I promise you it is worth it!

Song of the Day: Deeper by Meredith Andrews

Day 22 "Imaginary Friend"

Today, no quotes, just a picture. This will make sense later....

Today was an interesting day. I have been feeling a little under the weather. You know one of those days where as the result of sickness you are up all night and your brain is scrambled because of all the late night infomercials you have exposed it too. (It's amazing how good that stuff looks when your mind is tired huh?) I woke up awkwardly on the couch this morning absolutely starving and ready for a nap. Instead, I just ate some bagel bites and watched tv. I am glad I pushed through the rough morning because now my day is really seeming to shape up. I'm going to catch up with some school work and tonight I am cooking dinner for my parents. I feel blessed that life does not require much of me today and excited about the fellowship that is ahead.

I've had the blog on my mind a lot these last few days. I've been working on getting my inspiration, but not working so much on sharing my journey with you. The reason is because I am wrapped up in my master's thesis and writing on my blog has simply not been my priority. However, I just realized how far behind I am on writing up my blog postings and this made me a little discouraged. So, to make myself feel better about it all I am posting today and hope to have to rest available to you by Monday.

The main reason I am pushing forward is because I was feeling a bit insecure about this whole blog. I felt overwhelmed by the fact that this just might be a ridiculous idea. I feel like I have taken the concept of "imaginary friend" to a whole new level. Right? LOL. My imaginary friend is my mentor LOL. Yep, I am crazy. But, I'm also crazy about Jesus. If He wants me to learn something from Beth Moore, then I am up for the challenge.

I can't say that after 21 days I am wasting my time. God keeps teaching me more about Himself in the most unexpected ways. And, Beth Moore keeps popping up whether I seek her out or whether, on days like today, I try to ignore her. I had just about convinced myself to stop this blog when I checked my email. I get this daily devotional from Proverbs 31 Ministries. They have several contributers and I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a bit of happiness to arrive in their email box every day (subscribe here), but that is not the point. The one I read today was from Micca Monda Campbell. The post revolved around the following verse:

"That He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power by His Spirit in the inner man." Ephesians 3:16 (NAS)

Micca was writing how on a hard day God gave her supernatural strength. Wanna guess how? She had a chance visit in an airport, followed by plane ride with Beth. If I am lying, I am dying. So, God sneaked her into my life again today and said blatantly to my spirit that I am to continue on with this project despite my insecurities about it. Gosh, at least God didn't have her show up on my door step - I don't have any moon pies to feed her (an inside joke for any of you who may also read Beth's blog).

Anyway, so, today I was encouraged by the example my elected mentor sets to others. When and if you read the story Micca shares, I hope you are given the same eyes to read it that I was given. If so, you will not see Beth Moore, but rather a person who by being available as God's servant was able to encourage and inspire another who was having a rough day in their daily walk with God. This is what life is all about really right? We are to just do our best to overcome ourselves and honor God and trust that whether we know it or not God is using our lives to glorify Him.

So, today the picture. It reminds me of the example I should be on my daily walk. I need to be available. I need to remain myself. I need to seek to serve God completely no matter what. And, above all, I need to believe and trust in His will for my life. As this story communicates, He can use us anytime, anywhere...all we have to do is be available for Him and the opportunities He sets before us.

Day 21 "I'm Really a Heiress"

"Your God is better than you can imagine. He will not let you down."

-Beth Moore, Session 9, The Inheritance

Well, today I finally had the time to wrap up my lessons on being a heiress from "The Inheritance." There is so much to take away from this series that I am glad God allowed this break of days between when I last watched video 8. This has allowed the message to hit my life in a new way. I love how God knows the needs of my heart. Here is the wrap up of things I know about being a heiress:

1. God has made me an heir.
2. I'm a real, live heir of God and a co-heir with Jesus Christ.
3. Because I am a woman, technically I am an heiress.
4. The lines for me have fallen in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
5. As an heiress to God, my life is never left to chance.
6. As a member of the NT priesthood of believers and as an heiress of God, He is my portion...and I am His.
7. I am inheriting a kingdom.
8. My inheritance can never perish, soil, or fade. It's being kept in heaven for me

I am happy to finish the series. The message has been appropriate to my life right now. I need to know I am heiress and completely loved by God. I need to know even more about who I am in God's eyes. That is the goal this year right? Overcoming insecurity and having righteous confidence in God.

Sigh - words are beyond me today. I am happy and blessed.

Day 20 "Obstacles"

Five benefits God intends for us: To know God and believe Him; To glorify God; To find satisfaction in God; To experience God's presence; and to enjoy God's presence.

-Beth Moore, Breaking Free

Today was a good day. I spent time preparing for my up coming mentor session with a friend of mine. God was all about it and boy did I have a fun time with Him today!!! I was not working on learning about the "benefits" today, but rather learning about the obstacles that keep me from it. I wanted to share with you the benefits to possibly entice you into studying Breaking Free when you have the time - I believe God will work in the heart of every person who participates. Anyway, today I asked God to give me new eyes as I worked through three obstacles: unbelief, pride, and not being satisfied with God.

In studying unbelief, God revealed to me that I do have a strong belief in Him. I truly believe in His promises and abilities (etc.) However, my unbelief is in regards to how God wants to use me. Though I am obedient to Him and though I pursue the tasks He puts before me with my whole heart - a part of my heart sometimes feels like I am just "spare parts" or "damaged goods." God showed me this insecurity today, bummer. The good news is: I'm not living my life controlled by it and it gave me new insight to parts of my heart that I need to "let go and let God." I was able to make a fresh commitment to believe that God can and will use little o me to glorify Him if I remain faithful and obedient to His will. I don't know how, I don't have too - I'm just along for the ride. All I have to do is kick that enemy off my land! (Refer to previous post)

Second, I learned that though I need to be careful in dealing with pride, my true problem is not with exuding pride but rather and over humbling of myself in a negative degree. I'm not a pessimist. I don't think a good majority of people I encounter would say I exude negativity. But, they can't see the battle I have in my head with the enemy! God reminded me again today, He does not intend for me to humble myself into a scared, shameful self. He just wants me to remember where I come from and confidently move forward. I'm redeemed. He allows me to live free if I choose it. And I do choose it, I will submit to Him daily as He educates me on overcoming my insecure thoughts.

Until today, I would have said that I am satisfied with God. But, I realize that things of the world sometimes satisfy me more. It's not perpetual, but at times it is true. God showed me today - it's about satisfaction in Him first and foremost. All things of the world aren't bad. His will for me does not include me becoming legalistic. He just showed me I need to check my attitude and make sure I am coming to Him first. I am to escape the stress of the world in His arms, not the worlds.

Well that about wraps up my lessons today. Here is my power verse for the day:

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified: Do not be discouraged. For the Lord Your God will be with you wherever you go. - Joshua 1:9

Day 19 "Did you just speak through the TV?"

A life that glorifies God is not something we suddenly attain. As we spend time in the presence of God, His glory both transforms us and radiates from us.

-Beth Moore, Breaking Free (book), 32

God spoke to me through a TV show today. It was weird, but I really can't deny it. A particular character just seemed to reflect me - it was the strangest thing I think - pretty much at the top of the strangest thing ever list I have going. Anyway, this character has the power to heal herself. She is strong she works for the good of mankind, yet she has a hard time getting close to people because she has also been really hurt in the past. The thing she was working through in the episode was learning how to take a risk and get close to people again. And, through all of this - she and her friends are considered freaks. Stick with me here....

I don't think I am her. I certainly can't heal myself - only God can do that for me. But, it occurred to me that I am scared on some level when it comes to making new friendships and relationships with people. In some ways I feel like my soul is too damaged to be of use to people. And, then there is the other part of me that has built a protective barrier. The main reason is just because I wonder if I am strong enough to endure the pain some relationships can cause. These last years, God has really been working to break down the walls, but through this silly show He showed me that I haven't really taken down the wall completely.

Thankfully, God knows me fully and I have no walls anymore with Him. But, trusting people is so scary isn't it? Sometimes trusting God can be scary too. Well, if you have been taken advantage of in the past - I think you can understand what I'm saying here. Ultimately, God has shown me the risks are worth the effort. And with regards to trusting Him - He is my very best friend and I am so glad He has taught me over the years that I can trust Him completely and that no matter what He is one friend who will never fail me.

The day continued as I listened to a webcast about "transformation through trials." After that, God enabled me to talk with a dear friend from Brazil. He reminded me of the value of an uninhibited relationship. Our friendship is so ordained by God - we rarely talk - in many ways I hardly know a lot about her - but because God rules our friendship it is one of the closest ones I have have ever been apart of. I trust her completely.

How does this all tie together? Well, Beth reminded me that we don't just suddenly glorify God in every aspect of our life. It is something that takes time. Honestly, I believe the process takes a life time. We just have to trust in the wisdom that God provides and believe that as we seek His will each day He will refine us into being servants who glorify Him. God transforms us through every trial that He allows us to experience. And, when He is at the forefront of our relationships, they succeed - whether they be temporary relationships or relationships that last a lifetime. Mainly, I just don't need to be afraid to ask God for help when I feel scared. And, I just need to be willing to throw my heart out there (with discernment of course) when He asks me too and trust that He is working it all for the good.

My Word from God today is this:

Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticizing, and it will be given to Him. But let him ask in faith without doubting. - James 1:5-6

Song of the Day: Strong Enough by Stacie Orrico &

Healed by Shane Barnard & Shane Everett (no words, but totally amazing)

Day 18 "April Monday"

Today, what is on my mind is the concept of "It's a wild ride." I've reflected all ready on this concept in a previous post. But this message from Beth in the Inheritance series is apparently sticking. And, as I work on being a fun and not a boring heiress - I want to tell you about a day called "April Monday"

"April Monday" was actually today. But, sometimes it is on other Monday's too. It doesn't happen all the time, but it happens on occasion. What is it? It is a glorious time when I get to act like a kid with no reservations, but with the benefits of knowing how to do stuff. You see, I have this friend who has four kids twelve and under. On special April Monday's (they coined the term) - they come to my house and I simply spoil them rotten. We cook an insane amount of junk food, play Nintendo Wii, games, watch movies and all manner of things until we are pooped from sugar overload and game playing. It's awesome and it is some of the most fun I have here lately.

God does something so special in my heart on these days. I am filled with love and laughter. There is nothing especially deep about today's post except to remind myself and others that fun is sooooo apart of our life with God! He wants us to share His love and fun with others. All we have to do is just be willing to enjoy it in the moments God brings it into our life.

Yes, sometimes life is serious. Sometimes people really hurt us. But there are times when life is so cool and God blesses us in indescribable ways. To conclude, today I wasn't a boring heiress. I shared God's blessings with my four little friends and we had a blast! Be encouraged friends, look for the moments God intends to rock your socks of with happiness!

Tootles!

Day 17 "Church DJ"

Today is Sunday, so I am going to take a break from looking to my mentor today....Well, sort of...I have her personality temperament in mind and wonder if she is as obsessed with music as I am. Somehow, I don't think I would be disappointed with her answer.

It occurred to me today that God fulfilled a dream of mine and I did not even realize it! I am a DJ. This might not seem like a big deal - but if you are a sanguine in personality - you have a deep love for music and are completely convinced all of life could be represented in song. When I am happy, I sing all the time. I even like to sing when I am experiencing other emotions. But here is the deal, I love to share music with others. I'm all about making playlists or sharing new music with friends. I've always thought it would be cool to be a DJ.

You see right now I am in charge of worship at church. I am working at an old church in North Stonington, CT. There is a long story about how I ended up here. There is even a longer story that deals with why the church doesn't have a worship leader any more. Well, the key to the story is to know that last summer when the worship leader left - I took over. It is the craziest thing! I am not a worship leader - I've never studied it - nothing...I just have a passion for God and a matching passion for music about Him. But when the void was there, God told me to just step up and see what happens.

What happened was the church decided they wanted me to lead worship. I get to do it in this crazy cool way too. I told them the only way I would feel comfortable leading is if I could do so through a big screen in the front. I introduce the music, but then they don't seem me the rest of worship time. God put on my heart that it needed to be about Him and He didn't want anyone up front distracting from that. This is not to say this is true everywhere, but considering the situation the church went through - it was an appropriate thing God was putting on my heart.

So every week I get to create custom worship sets. Let's just say, we get down :O) God has taught me so much through this process. He has taught me even more about worship. He has taught me it is no different than preparing to speak on His behalf. The music prepares the hearts of the people to hear the message. It's amazing how God works in and through me to pick songs that end up pairing with sermons - and the pastor and I don't even speak about it! It is so awesome.

Anyway, the point of today is that God knows the desires and dreams of our hearts. He gives it to us as He sees fit and in His on way. I'm a DJ - How cool is that?

Day 16 "Answered Prayers"

"We sure as heck can be victorious."

- Beth Moore, Session 8 from "The Inheritance"

Moreover, keep Your servant from willful sins; do not let them rule over me. Then I will be innocent and cleansed from blatant rebellion. - Ps 19:13

God answered my prayers last night in an unexpected way: He spoke to me directly. This prayer from the psalmist is but one example. I woke up feeling hopeful. I was ready to hear God speak. He led me to my elected mentor Beth and to watch the eighth video from "The Inheritance." I know God wants me to take the message to heart. He spoke through her again today, I am dumbfounded.

The lesson is to realize that we are not to live defeated. Sometimes we sin willfully and sometimes we sin reactively, other times we realize we misuse the God-given property God gives us. Sometimes we succumb to the lies of the enemy. We can know that everyone has sinned and squandered at some point. Sometimes we really are just stupid when it comes to life. It goes on, but it gets to the point that we can break the cycle. God wants us to realize our value in Him. He intends to heal us. He intends us to be victorious and to inherit the kingdom of God. He intends us to be beautiful heiress'. We can overcome the worst in ourselves. We just have to repent and give it to God. It goes from who we were to who we are now in Christ. Nobody in Christ can keep on sinning. We must be repentant of our sins 100% as God shows us the flaws in our heart.

Look, I am paraphrasing. There is way more to this lesson then what I am capturing here. Just know if you watch this message: I get it. I get it. I relate to my mentor today.

Here's what is important for me right now: I realized about my mentor that God has worked in her life in a gradual way. He has healed her and grown her overtime - step by step. I believe He is doing the same in me. He is showing me that my dreams can be a reality - I just need to be obedient to His will for me each day. I'm working to be obedient and productive consistently. Life is busy, but life with God is satisfying. And, I don't have to listen to the enemy whispering hateful things in my ear.

That's about it for now. God is good and I am glad to be reminded that He wants me to be victorious!

Day 15 "Backsliding"

We may wish we could get everything we want - until we look at David & Bathsheba. The gap between wanting and getting is where we must flex the muscle of self-control to protect ourselves. David had risen to a position where his every wish was someone else's common. He had ceased to hear a very important word - one without which integrity can not be maintained. The word no.

-Beth Moore, A Heart Like His, pg 171

Today was a hard day. I willfully sinned against God. I have nothing to say except that my soul feels numb - I feel as if my mind is not my own. A war is raging inside. The ultimate high of yesterday followed by today's ultimate low. I'm at my weakest.

My heart is desperate for God today - I feel to weak to fight off the evil one. Sometimes I just want to be like David and go hide in a cave while God works to heal me. I'm unquestionably weak and so ready for God to come and take us home where we no longer have to deal with the unsettling circumstances of this world.

My prayer today is for my weak willed soul. God knows my hearts cry is to be obedient to His will for my life. I've asked him to clear the fog in my soul and give me a revelation. I am pointless without God and I need God my friend with me today.

Here is my hearts prayer:

God, I need your forgiveness, you love that is never failing. You are mighty. You save. Give me the passion for you my soul craves. Please be my everything. Clean my soul. Give me a pure heart and mind. Allow me to live with joy and with the confidence you desire for me. You conquered the grave, you can help me conquer my weak mind and insecurity. God, I've lost my way today. I don't know how to make it. I don't know how to get done all you have put before me. I know we can do it together. shine your light. Please allow me to accomplish Your will. May your spirit burst through me and completely take over - nothing more would please me. Heal my broken heart. Heal the pains in my soul.

Thank you for loving me. Thank you for saving me. I look forward to the hope you will provide in the morning. Cover me in your love tonight. Wrap me in your arms. Amen.

Day 14 "Birthday's"

My dad's birthday is today. We partied. My mom and I went to the store and got his favorite foods. And then, spent all day cooking. Then we stuffed ourselves full. It was great. There was more to it, but you get the idea ;O)

So, this got me thinking: when is my mentor's bday? I think it is June 16, 19.. well - look it up yourself - I'm a lady and won't say :O)

I will say, she is a year older than my parents (my parents are the same age with a couple months in between). Interesting, that is probably why I can relate to her so easily.

Other important note, she has about a 25 years more life experience than me - that I find to be highly valuable information. The more I can glean for her, the better of a jump start I can get in life.

I am nine years younger than when she was (37) when she founded Living Proof Ministries. This is encouraging because I am almost solely convinced that when I turn 30 life is going to end :O).

I was 3 when she married her husband Keith and I am now seven years older than she was when she got married. Hmm...this makes me feel behind on life skills LOL.

Anyway, these are just fun facts. Have a great day peeps. See you tomorrow.

Day 13 "Ministry 2010"

I had the chance to brainstorm with the people I work with today. We are trying to discern God's direction for our lives this year. It is such an exciting time to plan. So exciting in fact that my brain feels like it is about to pop and I don't feel like blogging much today. But, to keep to the project I thought I would reflect on Beth's ministry and goals. Here is one of my favorite statements that is a part of the Living Proof Ministries mission statement:

Living Proof is devoted to investing in the Spiritual lives of people of every color and denomination through sound Biblical teaching and uplifting praise and worship.

I love this. I strive for it personally. I would say I agree with it since I am sitting here writing this in my hot pink Living Proof t-shirt :O) But, I am finding this hard right now in ministry. My current placement as a missionary puts me in an environment where very few people are Christians. This breaks my heart. Having little reminders like this helps me to not get caught up in the details of who and how but rather caught up in investing in the lives of anyone God puts in my path.

OK. A shorty but a goody. It spoke to me and I hope it speaks to you.

Ta ta for now :O)

Day 12 "Need to Be Known"

It is a Wednesday - so inspiration is easy to find. Why? Well, most every week it is possible to tune in to "Life Today with James and Betty Robinson" (You can find show times by researching in google). Every Wed. they feature a segment "Wednesday's with Beth." They are short bits and the message is usually spread out for a couple of weeks, but I like it. It seems awkward sometimes b/c in this avenue she has to consider that men might be watching, but she handles it well. Sometimes I can DVR it - other times I can get it from iTunes via a podcasts. Anyway, today I was all about the podcasts - I like that b/c I can get the whole message and I can watch past messages. (The breadth of her ministry trips me out...but anyway.)

OH MANO I chose this series "Need to be known." She was looking into the Psalms - especially Ps. 139. It is so fascinating. It suits my personality just right today. I do need to be known. I need to know that God knows me completely and "He gets me." That's pretty cool right? It's good to know at least somebody in the universe gets me LOL.

Their are seven points in the series, but today I am interested in the point from Ps. 139:1 - God searches us out and knows us. God finds us intriguing. He knows every part of us and pursues us. Isn't that cool? I think it is great that God wants to get to know me. That He loves me despite myself and still wants to have a relationship with me. AWESOME.

Anyway, I could go on. But rest assured that today, the take away is to be happy that God takes an interest in me....in all of us as individuals. I like that.

Day 11 "Breaking Free with a Friend"

Liberty in Christ can be a reality in life.

-Beth Moore, Breaking Free

Today was the first day God enabled me to fill the role of mentor. Well, I am sure God has used me to mentor people maybe through my life, but this is the first day it is really official. I have a new friend who is so amazing, but new to believing in God. Her heart is so passionate about God and I look forward to all that God will teach me though her.

Anyway, my friend and I are going to begin by working through Breaking Free with Beth Moore. The cool thing is she chose it! She had know idea about my blog project this year. How cool is God right? I am completely excited about it. I have never done the workbook with anybody before. I have worked through the message - led a study through the book - but never just dove into to the workbook with a friend. I can't wait to go through it again to see what God is going to teach me.

So, I am breaking free with a friend. I am sure there are more things in my life that I need to be liberated from so that I can be more free with God. I just wanted you guys to know about how God is working to keep Beth right now at the forefront.

Remember, she isn't the only one I am gleaning spiritual information from - but, she is definitely going to be a part of my life this year.

Day 10 "Back at Church"

Today I was back at church with my church peeps. It is Sunday, so I will try to take off from seeking out my mentor. Here's my thoughts for today:

Oh man. Who am I? LOL. Life is hurdling by me so fast I am having a hard time keeping track of myself. God has moved into my life and over taken me. Yee-haw. It's brutal, but I'm recovering and loving a new journey with God.

Basically, my mind is still overflowing from all the messages I took in from Beth on my trip home. The information pinging about in my is crazy ridiculous. So today, I am allowing my brain to detox.

I appreciate your prayers for me on this journey.

Day Nine "Recovery"

Oh man, after 32 hours of driving my soul, brain and mind need a rest! So, today - my reflection is this. As I catch up on my sleep, here is what I shall ponder.....

Our glorious walk with God began with an act of faith that brought us into a relationship with Jesus Christ as our Savior, but it doesn't end there. Having believed in Christ, we've been called to continue believing all He came to do and say!

-Beth Moore, Believing God, pg21

Amen to that! I look forward to what God will teach me through His word this year ;O)

Peace out peeps.

Day Eight "Revival on the Highway"

We have to take back our land from the Enemy.

- Beth Moore, Session 6 "The Inheritance"

After this message, I broke down. Oh yes, if you could have had night vision - you would have seen a site to behold and it wasn't pretty. But boy o boy did it feel good. I just let God have complete access to me and it was crazy cool. And, well, I guess there was an angel helping me drive through it all. I can't share with you everything that happened, but lets just say I definitely had a "revival on the highway" tonight.

I believe God finally allowed my spirit to be liberated. I feel different. I know more pain will come, but the pain of my past no longer has a grip on my psyche. God used my newly 'elected' mentor to help show me the way. I've been trying to study her freedom in Christ. I have known that I had achieved it partially. I could even say that in many areas of my life I am free as a bird - happy and willing to love life and do anything for God. My soul is open to Him. But, as I've listened to the teaching from Inheritance - God has reached deeper into the recesses of my soul.

Driving down the road from Texas to Connecticut - I felt God in the car with me. Through this lesson God revealed to me the control the enemy has had on my mind - how parts of my soul were still in the worse sort of chains - resulting in my hidden insecurities. I can't say the average person would know I struggle with this, but some how admitting it in the blogosphere makes it real.

Tonight God allowed me to recognize the pain residing in my soul from past experiences that had brutalized my soul in ways I don't really feel like describing right now. He showed me the pain that my heart felt with regards to past situations and the disgust I feel because I was not strong enough to resist the forces in my life that led me to destructive choices. God allowed me to acknowledge that despite what was done to me and despite the choices I made that He was there to redeem and sanctify the hidden dark recesses of my soul. God just opened a window to pain that I didn't even know was there - what I saw terrified me. He showed me the scars on my heart that I had forgotten about.

He showed me that as I had moved on forgiving myself and those who had pained me in the past, I actually had buried not only the painful memories, but also the millions of good parts that make up who I am. As Beth says, I moved off of my proverbial land and I was trying to ignore that it still existed. God reminded me that I am not to forget, but to let God redeem me - not just parts of me - all of me. To acknowledge He is in full control - loves me for exactly who I am. He has huge plans for me and I have to trust Him.

I hope you respect that the nitty gritty details right now aren't really important. The act of complete submissiveness to God is the star here. But, to go ahead and jump into complete vulnerability here, this is my heart's prayer I recorded in my journal tonight:

Lord, my mind is racing in positive directions today. Thank you for this. Thank you for your love and willingness to heal my soul. I feel complete again on the inside. Grant me your mercy and grace as I work to give you my full heart. I want to be the one who gives my entire heart to you. If it pleases you, I would love to make a difference with my life - in order that I may glorify you in the process. Though I have no idea how, I want to impact millions for You. It's been my dream for many years that others can experience the peace and joy you bring into my life. Help me to become a woman worthy of spreading Your Word. Send to me in Your time my husband who can be my partner in ministry. I pray His heart is as sold out to You as mine is. I love you. You are the only reason I get up everyday. You are my only hope. Speak in me so that I may know how to share that hope with others. Enable me to be passionate. Give me that fire. May your joy and light be evidenced in my eyes, soul, and body. I'm ready for the adventure. I can't wait to live the life you have planned for me. I can't wait to experience the blessings you have for me. Make me a woman worthy of them. Amen.

Day Seven "Heiress Lessons"

Well, I can't really write a lot about today. I was driving down the road and was not near my computer. Tomorrow, you will see how God is working in my heart. But this day was all about the prep work to get my heart there.

For the first part of my drive home, I rode with my dad. My mom was in the mood to drive so I happily let her drive my car. I slept the morning away in my dad's truck. Well, later, I was ready to get back in to my VW bug and pass some time. As I did, I pulled out my inheritance videos and as the day progressed I watch video 2, 3, 4, and 5. Hallelujah right? Let's just say, if you ever need a boost while driving how about four straight hours of Beth Moore. The energy level she projects can get a heart going. And, if God ordains that the message is something you need to hear - well the adrenaline will kick in and you will break out into spontaneous worship intermittently LOL.

Oh yes. It was a crazy day in my car if you can imagine. The Holy Spirit was all up in my business and it felt like I was the only one hanging out with Him that day. It was glorious :O) Quiet a few people likely saw me getting my Jesus on - who cares right? LOL. I'll never see them again....I hope ;o)

Anyway, today is just a shout out to my mentor. Well done with this one buddy. I know if anyone can understand the fun I had today you can. WHEW! Life with God as the driver is a WILD RIDE! I am so grateful for that!

Day Six "Personality"

Today, I want to talk about personality. Have you ever thought about your personality? Like why you act and think the way you do? I think about it all the time.

With regards to my mentor, she has mentioned her personality is sanguine. Where has she mentioned it? Well, lots of places. :O) But today, I am thinking about it and how as a sanguine myself how this affects my life. I'm reading a good book about it: The New Spirit Controlled Woman by Beverly LaHaye.

Officially, I am not purely sanguine in my temperament. I am predominately what the book calls a "san/phleg" which is a combination of sanguine and phlegmatic The book does a whole diagnosis but here is a brief glimpse:

"The easiest person in the world to like is the San/Phleg. Her overpowering, super extrovert sanguine tendencies are offset by her gracious, easygoing never-get-upset phlegmatic traits. The San/Phleg is usually a very happy person whose carefree spirit and good humor make her a lighthearted entertainer who is sought after by others. Helping other people is her chief business in life, and when she consecrates her life to Christ, she gets her greatest joy out of serving Him. She often loves music, and if she can carry a tune she'll be moving and effective singer. If I were a choir director, I would put all san/phlegs in the front row because their smiling countenances and joy-filled appearance usually blesses the congregation even before the choir beings to sing...." pg 99

It goes on and on and even nails my weaknesses on the head. It gives me an opportunity to see how the world sees me. Anyway, I just wanted to share a little about me so you can know who I am. That way we can get to know each other better. What are you?

The point is not just to pretend you will care, but rather to encourage you to care about your own personality types. I think that is why Beth mentions her from time to time - by knowing more about ourselves we can know better how to relate to other. Most importantly, we can know how that personality helps us to relate to God.

Anyway, this is just a blip today. Go read this book it will change your life :O)

Day Five "Me A Heiress?"

Will this be the year that changes your life?

-Beth Moore, The Inheritance, Session 1

I am so in love with God. I love how He so graciously speaks to my soul and charges me up and gets me going. He knows what I want and just gives it to me in ways I can't imagine. I know that to some of you it may seem that I am a weirdo for making up an imaginary mentor. Yes, part of it seems insane to me too, but I can't help but be obedient to God when He tells me to do something. And, if I know anything, I know it is is plan for me to get to know Him in many ways this year and one of those ways is through my elected mentor Beth. I think as you and I see how our paths cross this year, it will all make sense.

So today, I came across some DVD's at my gma's house. Beth's The Inheritance message. I guess she taped it last year during her Tuesday night Bible studies and then released it. What matters is that when I saw it I just knew God wanted me to pop it in and watch. If you can imagine, it's like it had a blinking sign over it saying "Watch Me, Watch Me." So, instead of watching more westerns with my gpa that is exactly what I did.

Context: Just so you know, the last few days God has really been telling me this is going to be a pivotal year for me. If you really knew me, my pivots read like a crazy novel - but all that is for another time. What is important, is that God has made it obvious to my heart that if I trust Him, He is going to take me places I never dreamed. A few things of note include, I am living in a new home, I stand to graduate in May with two Masters Degree's (Lord willing), I will work this year as a full time missionary, and I am going to have my first opportunity to mentor a woman one on one. All ready, I just sense things are a brewin'. Anyway, so know this is going on in my mind and then I watch this video.

Here is some things I learned:

• This is a prime time to have a year that changes your life. Her prayer at the beginning of this message is that it would be true for those who are watching.
• The challenge: To find out what we are meant to do, AND DO IT.
• Point One: God has made me an heir. We didn't chose to be His heir, He chose us. And we do not have dreams that are bigger than God's plans for us.
• Point Two: I am a real life heir of God and c0-heir with Jesus Christ. "What meaneth this?" LOL. You are just going to have to watch the video to find this out :O) Just kidding, it just means that God intends for us to inherit all that Jesus stands to inherit. Jesus gets the double portion and we all share the rest. How cool is that? It simply helps me to realize I am loved just as much as Jesus is loved.
• Point Three: Because I am a woman, technically I am an heiress. Which means, we as women are equal co-heirs :O)
• Point Four & Key Verse: The lines for me have fallen in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance, Psalm 16:6. We can't even imagine the things that God has in store for us.
• Also, I have to be careful not to get bored because it will get me in a whole heep of trouble.
• Most important, God doesn't intend for me to be boring. I know this all ready, but it is great to hear it affirmed. God wants life to be exciting and it is not wrong for me to feel that way.
• Life with God should be a wild ride, but it can only be so if we let Him do the driving.

Sometimes, when God speaks so directly to my soul I just look up and I am like, "Are you kidding me?" Even if you are a skeptic you have to admit there is providence that I would come across this DVD set at the beginning of a New Year when I am wanting nothing more than to experience God in a fresh way. Beth's term for this is, "I want a Jesus Year." Well, that so encapsulates my heart.

Look, I don't expect you to be as excited about what I am learning as I am. I am just saying, being obedient to God is just so amazing. With each passing year I can hardly comprehend how energized I feel as I understand this concept more. Anyway, this is enough for today, I will write some more tomorrow.

Now to Him who is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think - according to the power that works in you - to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

-Ephesians 3:20-21

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** I'll continue to catch up on putting posts on the blog this week.