But then some of us experience bigger changes than these. Dramatic changes. Changes that change everything.
-Beth Moore, So Long Insecurity, 78
What a day. What a day. My mind is in an interesting place. I would say, a vulnerable place. I am really trying to take what I am learning from my mentor to heart. In particular, I want to overcome this inner battle I have with insecurity.
Yesterday, I mentioned that this week (until next Thursday) I am suppose to assess what the causes of my insecurity. On my heart today is "Dramatic Change." As I see the changes in my life, and as I see the change in others lives, I can't help but reconcile with the fact that change does indeed have a dramatic affect. I look at Haiti, my heart breaks. I look at Chile and the devastation there today and my heart breaks. And, there have been times where change in my own life has caused my heart to break. But what do we do during these times? How do we keep the change from driving us toward insecurity?
Well, in my opinion - we bear our souls to God. We get down on our knees and we just tell Him everything on our mind. We tell Him how seeing others suffer is brutal. We tell Him that the homeless person we passed on the way home from the grocery store just ripped our spiritual souls in half because we feel we have been given too much and that person too little. We tell Him that the love story we saw on TV made us long for a relationship. We tell Him what we don't understand. We tell Him the pain we feel as a result of living life here on planet Earth. We just talk to Him through the bad and thank Him for the good. We have faith that God has a plan and that He is at work.
To add to the sentiment, look what my mentor writes:
The truth is, God uses change to change us. He doesn't use it to destroy us or to distract us but to coax us to the next level of character, experience, compassion, and destiny. I hate to display such a firm grasp of the obvious, but how will we ever change if everything around us stays the same? Or what will ever cause us to move on to the next place He has for us if something doesn't happen to change the way we feel about where we are? God is thoroughly committed to finishing the masterpiece He started in us and the process means one major thing: change.
Look, I'll be honest, change is likely one of the biggest roots of my insecurity because it has been such a big part of my life. I've lived in an insane amount of houses (45+). One example is that I went to at least 12 schools in my K-12 experience. And you know what? I can honestly say that I see how that is benefiting my life now. I didn't always get it when I was younger, but I did know that God had a plan. I still do. He has allowed me to express to Him the pain I felt during those times and occasion I still talk to Him about why moving so much was part of His plan for me. He still hasn't told me :O). And, I am still moving. But coming to view it has positive is making a difference. This reminder from BM really drives me toward a new level of wholeness. God is growing me and taking me to new levels. So, for now instead of worrying about how I don't fit in sometimes, I am just going to embrace it and allow God to teach me how to make the most of it.
Have a great day.
Song of the Day: What Faith Can Do by Kutless
Oh, if you want to donate to Haiti you can go to this site. They are doing a lot of great work there and have had a ministry established there for like 4o years.
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