Today has been so weird. I woke up - snow on the ground. An hour later, rain came melted it away. Then like two hours later snowing again, which resulted in covered ground again. I kid you not, then it rained again melted and then a couple of hours later snowed some of the biggest flakes I have ever seen. Crazy right? It's dark now, but I am pretty sure it might be raining LOL. The weather has been to0 bipolar for my liking today :O). Personally, I haven't felt much different than the weather, I can't seem to make up my mind on how to feel either :O) But let's get into it:
Life is rough. It's also beautiful, but if we can't get some respite from its cruelty, we will never have the healthy vision to savor its tender beauty.
- Beth Moore, So Long Insecurity, 41
So this week my mentor charges me to discover the roots of my insecurities. Um, I don't even know where to begin because the information was all so very good. I feel like I am losing my objective eye today, but God is pushing me with this blog. Honestly, I am going to have to take a few days to absorb all that hit me spiritually . There were many things I realized; but, I need time to process. There were moments of elation and moments of concern. Life is rough, but it always gets better. So, I'm just going to hit on one thing in particular and then save the rest for tomorrow.
My focus today, odd as it may be, is on mentors. It does correlate with insecurity...just stick with me...
I am writing a book review for class on, Augustine as Mentor: A Model for Preparing Spiritual Leaders by Edward L. Smither. The point is to look into Augustine's spiritual formation of men who were spiritual leaders and trace the relevance of his methods throughout the centuries. I won't break down the whole book here, but look at his definition of mentoring:
in essence means that a master, expert, or someone with significant experience is imparting knowledge and skill to a novice in an atmosphere of discipline, commitment, and accountability.
Smither, as he sets up the rest of the book, directs us to Jesus as a model mentor. In short some of the characteristics of the mentor relationship are:
- the mentor was both mentor and disciple (meaning that though he was teaching, he was also still growing in knowledge);
- mentors select the persons they wants to mentor;
- the mentor and disciple are involved in a personal relationship that is characterized by both discipline and grace
- the mentor desires to see the potential of the disciple fulfilled;
- it involves rigorous training;
- this relationship is both educational and relational;
- it revolves around sound teaching from the Scriptures;
- mentor models ministry;
- disciple is deliberately involved;
- there is a time where the disciple goes out on his own, but their is still debriefing;
- eventually, the disciple is on his own but the relationship still exists.
This concept reflects the desire of my heart. I want this sort of relationship with someone. Sometimes I fear it evident on my face when I meet people I truly respect - I try and keep a cool though. I won't sit here and say that I believe I am the only one on the planet who wishes I could have a mentor. But, I do believe that if we had this type of mentor relationship in our life - we would all be less insecure. I mean look at the sources of insecurity that BM points out: instability in the home; a significant loss; rejection; dramatic change; culture; and pride. Obviously, deep immersion in the Word can help us overcome these hits, but imagine how much better it would be having a mentor spur you on to greatness in life as you overcome your challenges. Hmm. What I am noticing today is that in our culture we only get half involved in the mentor process.
You see, in our culture, we don't really see this exhibited that often. We are in the information age, which enables us to learn from more than one "mentor." Like me for instance, I am just bouncing around trying to get advice from anyone I can (under God's direction of course). It gives me the chance to learn more, but the learning is one-sided. I don't have anyone to keep me on track or challenge me to go deeper or keep me accountable to what God is asking me to do. I don't think I am alone in this, but what struck me this week as I studied insecurity is if I actually had a real mentor or if all of us actually had real mentors we would be so much more secure.
And, there is nothing wrong with me deciding for BM to be my mentor. She is in the field God is directing me too. She has experience, knowledge and all the criteria that I would need to learn from. She is, though indirectly, imparting her wisdom to me and whoever else chooses to listen. She is, as God has called her, mentoring to thousands of women. But what if I had a BM in my life who could mentor me more directly? What would that be like I wonder?
It takes real courage to admit that we want help. And I do. But, God has not seen it fit to provide this for me yet. I can't help but wonder why that is. I know God just wants me to be attentive to Him right now and I can't tell you how much he has blessed me with mentoring moments these last couple of years from people I respect. But the desire to learn in a more direct way is still there because I know if I had someone teaching me one on one I might have a chance to reach my potential. For now, the desire pushes me toward whoever God wills. Seeking wisdom in the day to day from the people He drops on me.
Can I get a witness? Anybody wish they had a mentor that would spur them onto greatness? My passion for having a mentor is obvious, I am willing to make up one :O) But seriously, don't you think it would make us less insecure? How would really living Titus 2 look?
Now, please don't misunderstand. I believe God is able to do all and be all in our life. He is the one we need for spiritual healing, spiritual understanding, and on and on. But I am just brainstorming on a way to make this concept of mentoring viable in my life so I can get the most out of my blog project. Who knows, maybe I can inspire one of you to be a mentor to someone in your life. I really just want to go deeper with who I am in God and it would be interesting to have someone other than myself driving me forward. We can make a difference. I see the need for mentoring relationships all around, and that it is why I have chosen this year to be a mentor to someone. Whether or not anyone ever chooses me won't derail me from my calling, it just means that I'm blessed to have God has my mentor right?
Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen. - Hebrews 11:1
For now, I will choose to keep deepening my faith. I know God knows the desires of my heart. He will give me the dreams of my heart in due time. For now, I rest in the providence of His timing. I hope you will too.
Song of the Day: Pick Yourself Up by KJ-52
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