So, I am still struggling with any kind of normal sleep pattern. I have no idea what is going on, but I do know God is up to something. I feel relaxed and calm and at peace, but yet not really rested. It is so WEIRD. Oh well, I suppose that is how people feel when God has them waiting.
My dad took me out for golf today. We thought it would be relaxing and fun. It was except for the fact that it kind of felt like we were playing inside an oven. I don't think the heat would have got us, but the humidity was like nothing I ever felt. I couldn't breath and felt pretty confident by the end of the game I was going to suffocate or pass out from heat stroke. We felt like old people LOL and I totally got sunburned. Somehow though, I still felt relaxed at the end - go figure :O)
I suppose I needed the time for my mind to rest. It is an indescribable feeling being in the middle of a hold pattern with God. Even though I've been there many times before, I still don't understand it. I am normally a very driven and focused person when it comes to working, but right now I just kind of feel lazy because I have spare time on my hands. I believe God is teaching me about balance - showing me the importance of rest. I am still not sure what He is teaching me through this time period, but I do know He is teaching me. Today in particular (Colossians 1:2-3):
I want their hearts to be encouraged and joined together in love, so that they may have all the riches of assured understanding, and have the knowledge of God's mystery - Christ. In Him all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden.
It reminds me not only to be encouraged during this confusing time, but also about the possibility of possessing an assured understanding. What I know about God thus far is that if we seek Him, He will allow us to find Him. To attain this wisdom we must seek Him and know that through our knowledge of Christ we will better understand Him. And, it leads me to my mentor moment with BM today:
Satan is the counterfeit god of perfect timing. He's watching for just the right moment to pull the rug out from under us, but even that rug is under God's feet. And, God always has victory in mind! He will never allow Satan to discourage you without a plan to lead you to victory! We may not always follow Christ to victory, but He is always leading! "Thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him" (2 Cor 2:14). One of the most important truths we can apply from David's ongoing battles with the Philistines is that God will always lead us to victory - but He will lead us His way. - Beth Moore, A Heart Like His (237).
Though for now, I choose to spare the details - Satan is at work trying to discourage me. I am grateful that God allows us a way out of tempting circumstances - that came in handy for me today. I am having old enemies reappear in my life and it seems harder and harder to resist. Simultaneously, God is giving me the encouragement I need to keep heading in His direction - for that I am eternally grateful. Also, I may not get why God wanted me to play golf with my dad and simply spend alone time with Him in Bible Study, but I can know He is at work in my life via His perfect timing.
I am reminded that in God's timing a 1000 days can be like an hour. So maybe I am just caught up in one of God's nano seconds. Either way, I'm just keeping my eyes peeled for His open doors - till then - I'll keep trying to get back into a normal sleep pattern :O)
Blessings to you peeps!
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