I find God to be pretty incredible. Sitting here, I am completely aware of the Fact that God is in complete and utter control of our life. He doesn't test us - but He does provide us with opportunities to learn perseverance and to deepen our faith.
I think being called by Him requires an emptying of self that is beyond comprehension. I believe He allows us to get to our bottom - so He can continue to build us up. Everyone I know in ministry seems to go through this bottoming out process. Some don't survive - Some do. I want to be one that survives. I think most would agree they turn out better for it in the end.
My heart is especially aware of people around me who are unwilling to let God be in control of their life. I just don't get this. I can't wrap my mind around it. I know I am not successful every day in pursing God's will. But ultimately, that is what I am striving for - consistency with that. It is just painful for me to watch others suffer when for the most part you know there lives could be better if they would just obey God.
We all make mistakes. I went through a period of brokenness and I didn't know I was out of God's will. I suppose I get it. I got sucked into a world of emptiness and darkness. I lost communion and oneness with God. I didn't know for a season that I even was living like that because I was still seeking God. But boy did I know when I was back on track! It was exhilarating feeling - so redeemed and forgiven and I have not soon forgotten that. But, I just don't get when Christians turn away from God and are like "whatever." Even in my darkest moments I am always turned toward God b/c I know that it better. I just don't know how to help friends who turn the other way. - Sigh.
That being said, I am having a good day today. I feel a load is off of me after sharing yesterday. I am still not over being sick. I don't know if my body was dehydrated or what. Overall, four plane rides and an 18hour day will have its affect on most people - I think.
While in Chicago, God really started speaking to me. He showed me an ability to I have to relate to strangers. I guess I never really noticed. But I can say that now that I think about it, I much rather commune with a stranger sometimes then a friend. You can pour yourself out without consequence. It's like a way to be vulnerable and test it out and see how people react, but either way no harm can come from just absolutely being yourself (unless your a jerk I guess ;O) ). I am shy really, but sometimes I am just overcome with this sense that I am just ready to be friends with anybody. It's like I am willing to give anybody a chance, which I am but sometimes to scared to do it. But, I don't always use this skill because sometimes my insecurities get the best of me. However, I hope God teaches me to use this skill to bring glory to Him. Anyway, onto my mentor moment and God blowing my mind.
After reading Ps 142 and more in A Heart Like His - BM gives six insights we can learn from this passage:
- He prayed
- He cried aloud
- He poured out His complaint to God
- He rehearsed his trust in God
- He longed for God's presence
- He confessed His desperate need
Woah. God has brought me through these six steps over and over this year. She also wrote:
His feelings were not an accurate assessment of truth - but they worthy to share with God. Feelings can be a little like laundry. Sometimes we can't sort them until we dump them out (81).
Mano. Good stuff right? With the amount of laundry I have put out before Him these last couple of months. I am glad at least one person in life is there to totally hear me out! Right or wrong, sometimes it just feels good to have someone listen. And, I agree it enables us to be able to sort it out.
David's example certainly demonstrates to us that our prayer lives need to be specific and personal (82).
Just the affirmation I need today...I have wondered if I bore God. I know I don't but I like being reminded that we can keep going to God in complete abandon. Well, I could right a ton more about all that is on my mind today, but I should end with the fact that BM pointed out that:
God had to bring David down to a lowly position b/4 He could raise him up and stand on solid ground.
My question, how often is He going to do this in my life :O) ?? Well, as much as it takes I suppose :O) Anything to spare me from being prideful I suppose :O) OK. I better get going....
Song of the Day: Freedom Song by Mandisa
No comments:
Post a Comment