My increasing later nights are leading to increasing later "mornings." Another heavy night of dreaming. I never really remember my dreams, but I kind of woke in the middle of one today and I was robbing a bank. Say what? I know, I was totally confused and kind of wish I knew more than that so I could understand the context. So, to cope with my apparent need for thievery LOL - I baked some blueberry muffins. Oh, they turned out soooo good. I love me a good blueberry muffin :O)
Once they were done I watched the BFF on LifeToday with James & Betty Robinson. I know I'm not the only one in the free world who gets a word here and there from Beth, but gee wiz I am aware of what God is telling me through her. Last night I was all about begging God in depseration to make me fully His. This morning, I wake up and get to here BM talking about the the only thing we should be desperate for is God. And, that this desperation is a gift. Say what? Did she just....was she just listening in on my prayers again...I had to put down my blueberry muffin and rewind it to make sure I heard right.
After the shock of the moment wore off and I realized that God was confirming my concern over the depth of my desire for Him in my life right now I just sat there kind of amazed. The thing I liked most was the fact that she said in her life God restored her dignity. I think God is in the process of doing that with me. Learning to be secure is part of this. Day by day I believe it will be more true. If BM can get there, there is hope that God will help me get there as well.
On another note, I am still really enjoying my journey through Exodus. My obsession in reading it this time is circling every mention of God. Woah. My whole Bible is now blue it seems - He is all over that book! The Israelites are kind of getting on my nerves though if I am to be completely honest. To have the signs and wonders and then complain??? Really? If I saw a pillar of fire just floating in front of me - would I have the audacity to doubt God? Probably, I am human. But my goodness!!!! Am I right?
God has also reminded me to rest - pertinent to me since I am soooo not resting right now:
How long will you refuse to keep My commands and instructions....understand the Lord has given you Sabbath. EX 16:28-29
This stands out for two reasons. One, I don't want to be annoying like the Israelites and ignore God's instruction. Two, I need to remember to be more receptive to times of Sabbath with God.
And then, there was this bit about "The Lord is My Banner" (17:15), where Moses built and titled an alter to God as this. It was a sign to God of gratefulness for the work He did to help them win a war. Personally, I want my life to be this. I want people to look at my life and see the wars and the journeys and know that the lord has been my banner too.
And then, there are tons of examples of Moses "crying out." This is reassuring to me for so many reasons. Especially since in recent weeks I have done a lot of crying out myself :O) I just like knowing and seeing that God hears Him and answers Him because it means He will do the same for me.
And then God said, "I will test them to see whether they follow my instructions." Well, I all ready told you they were annoying so of course they didn't. But I like knowing that God is serious about knowing whether or not we are really committed to Him. I don't mind that He likes to see if we are truly listening. I've spent 20 years trying to hone this skill - I can't say I am great at it - but I am reminded that it is a process.
And then, "If you will carefully obey the Lord Your God, do what is right in His eyes, pay attention to His commands, and keep all His statues, I will not inflict illness on You like the Egyptians. For I am the Lord who heals you" (15:26). There is so much that can be taken from this, but I like the encouragement to keep focused on God. More than that I like knowin that God is the God who heals. Amen. Amen.
OK, my last "and then": "Don't be afraid. Stand firm and see the Lord's salvation He will provide for you today; for the Egyptians you see today, you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you must be quiet" (14:13-14). WOAH. Amazing right? There is so much power here. Don't be afraid. Be still. Stand firm. I love that the command is to be quiet and let God do the work. isn't that what He is telling me know through "Be Still and Get Ready?" Amazing.
Overall, I have been pretty laid back today. I did get some things accomplished, but it is a rainy day and I am usually not as productive. All in all I am aware of the world around me. I see them partying and carrying on. But at what cost? I've dabbled here and there in it and it has done its damage and I am not apt and ready for more. I suppose I just really want to be on God's side at the end of the day don't you?
Anyway, I really like this desperate for God concept. Tonight as I was praying I increased my prayers about it. God came down and met with me. So much in fact I couldn't even speak. He didn't either. We kind of just sat and were still together. It was cool, but I don't know how to really describe it.
OK peeps. Hope you are desperate for God too!
Song of the Day: Yearn by Shane and Shane
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