Well, it is Sunday and pretty much always my favorite day of the week. I just wanted to make mention of the fact that the peace from yesterday has carried on to this morning.
As the day progressed though and I dropped my dad off at the airport to go be with my mom in Texas, I suppose I feel a little abandoned LOL. I wish I could go to Texas too. I need to be with family. But, as much is that is what I want, God needs me to have alone time with Him.
I am just full of emotion today - but still optimistic. I have to say though, as much as I fight it, I am kind of terrified by life right now. I just keep reciting the promise "Don't be afraid" "Don't be afraid" - I am not afraid b/c I can't go to Texas. God has me alone a lot in life so I am kind of use to it by now. I am just scared of what is ahead. I'm nervous to pursue what is in front of me - like sharing this vision God has given me with others - but it will come together.
I still feel calm. I know God wants me to work to continue to renew my mind - focus on His Plan - His Words - but I can't deny a good part of me feels right on the edge of insanity. But, I have a clear prayer on my heart:
Lord, You are my Everything. You are the only one worth living for. You hear my heart cry. You see the desperation in my heart to be fully Yours. You know my heart. You know my pain. YOU KNOW ME. God, I am so grateful that you love me. I am so grateful you choose to bless me. God forgive me for I fail You so often. Forgive me for feeling so lonely. Wrap me in Your arms Father. Immerse every one of my cells in You. Make me Yours. Use me to glorify Your name exponentially. Give me ears to hear and wisdom to discern. Speak to me. Make Your plan clear. Use me. Thank you for loving me despite myself. Bless me with many days to serve You. Though I long to be with you - my heart will happily serve You here until You are done with me. I love you. Amen.
And that ends my peaceful day. The only other thing I did besides pray today was watch a Hallmark movie about Lois Wilson, founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. You should watch this it is very good. And, then I also watched Dear John.
Bye Peeps.
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