I am feeling pretty wordy today, but my post won't really reflect it. I was sitting here thinking on how blessed I feel. I honestly can't ignore the fact that God is really good to me. Others may not think so, but the contentedness I feel with my life is not describable by words. The only bummer is that I have seemingly been an emotional wreck this last week. Beth's Get Out of that Pit book has been on my mind as I have tried to figure out what is the cause of the in and out moments of despair I have felt. It's the strangest thing and after many days of being on my knees before God I have narrowed it down to mostly being spiritual warfare. Bummer.
I know I have a lot of stressors in my life right now. I have concerns for certain family members. I wonder if I am living in God's will. There is that whole job situation. But all in all what I am hearing from God is "Get Ready" and "Be Still" - that is a strange combination don't you think? Well, I do. What do I get ready for? Well, I don't know. But after much prayer on the matter I can say that God just wants me to get in the best spiritual and physical shape I possibly can. So - onward with the 5K training I guess and onward into my study of the Word - I'll keep you posted on my progress.
I know God is working in me and answering my prayers. I've asked Him to make me 100% His - I suppose there is a lot of emotion involved in that as well. The thoughts that have been in my head this week are just insane. Let's just say if you ask God to clean you out mind, body and soul - He will do it. Right now, I suppose I am just trying to survive His holy scrubbing process. I suppose the best way to describe it is to say - God has made it clear to me the purpose of BM's Praying God's Word - there are just times when Scripture is the only thing that can speak our heart and the only thing that can keep us sane.
The last thing I really have to say about it all is that I feel God is working in my life. I am both excited and fearful. I have a hard time sitting still. I'm totally obsessed with God and it seems I am thinking about Him every moment of every day. I know that is a good thing, but I guess it is just a lot to process. Overall, I suppose God is answering my prayer to be more aware of Him then I am myself. And, well - I just have to trust He will give me the discernment I need to do what I should.
I am still working through A Heart Like His. My mentor moment is simple: "Never assume that to follow Him means to throw away who He has made you to be" (11). That really drives this home doesn't it? Today, I am wrapped up in determining what parts of me to keep and what parts to let go so I can be the person God intends me to be.
David says it best in Psalm 4:
Know that the Lord has set apart the faithful for Himself; the Lord will hear when I call to Him. Be angry and do not sin; on your bed, reflect in your heart and be still. Offer sacrifices in righteousness and trust the Lord.
Amen. I just need to recognize that I am faithful. I need to know that God hears me when I call to Him. I need to reflect in my heart and be still. Most importantly - TRUST THE LORD.
Thanks for spending time with me peeps.
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