What is on my mind today is that by the world's standards I am "nobody in particular." As I approach this new phase in my life, I will admit that there is something oddly comforting about that. There is a lot less people you have to worry about when you don't particularly stand out. There is also a lot less accountability. The crazy part is, I know I am meant to stand out. Not like right now or anything, but eventually. The pressure of that kind of - well actually - totally intimidates me. I am content just serving God without others really knowing about my contributions. Mainly, as God is having me exhibit more of my extrovert tendencies, I wonder if my integrity and character can withstand the pressures of pursing a call of full time ministry - will I be able to take the heat as I pursue my calling? Or will I crack under the pressure - time will tell.
With regards to accomplishments, I tend to be fiercely private about them. I suppose, that stems from having been exposed to a few too many egotistical people in my life. I just think we ought to be able to build relationships with one another not based on our previous merit. This is hard though because we need our accomplishments to build our credibility professionally, but do we need that interpersonally as well? I get that there are times when we have to claim where we have been so people can know why we matter. But relationally, I think this hurts us. It is too bad this system can't be simpler.
Take my calling for example. To succeed I will have to be totally obsessed with God. Check. I have to know His Word and keep trying to know it better until my last breath. Check. But, to get the message out and share what I am learning I have to first prove that I am not a psycho terrorist creating a new religion - so I get degrees from credible schools. Next, I have to build platforms. To do this in our culture I need a book, or a blog, or like a super connection that validates that God is blessing my life (no pressure right?). Then I have to work on getting in shape physically and work on my outer appearance because like it our not people both Christians and non are distracted by our appearance (all while eluding an obsession with vanity). It's not about restructuring my look away from Gods intended purpose for me, but it is about making sure I present the most polished version of said self in cloths that match so that I can be taken seriously. But how far do we go?
I once observed a lady who is the president of a pretty popular conference. In a down moment I was privy to a conversation about her jacket which was a $1000 dollars - just her jacket. She was totally cool with it and very nonchalant. I kind of wanted to rip it from her body so that I could make my car payment at the time, but I resisted LOL. But that is not the point...This woman who I just observed on stage asking people to support a myriad of charities like orphans was wearing a jacket that could feed like 20 of them. There was something about the timing of that moment that just hit me spiritually. I don't disrespect this woman. We have to look good. It is the nature of the beast and the culture in which we live. We have to buy cars, we have to have homes - we are not all called to live in a tent barely living, but how far do we go? Where is the line of enjoying God's blessings and buying a $1000 dollar jacket? I think what got me that day was not the fact that the jacket was expensive - honestly, I could careless about that. Solomon after all had the best of the best and I don't disrespect him. I guess it was just the attitude of that moment - like that it was just normal. Nothing special. Not a blessing from God. It was just one of many things that could be cast aside casually on a sofa.
Don't get me wrong, I am materialistic at heart, but I am working to spend my money wisely. I don't have a list of do's and don'ts. I spend money on the things that matter to me and on the things I need to do my job well without particular reservation. I am a technology fein and if I could I would right now replace this heap of metal in my lap with a brand new computer that would help me in so many ways - this one isn't broken, but I am aware of the fact that it limits me. It's the same with everything else in life. I could shop like my life depended on it if I wasn't going through a season of severe "broke-ness." I am from Texas for crying out loud and our culture is go big or go home. Take pride in what you do, how you look and how you act. And on the verge of being thrown out into the public eye, I know the cost of what needs to be done to make a serious effort toward pursuing my calling. When in Rome, do as the Romans do - that is how you reach them right?
I suppose I just want to be aware of my limits. I know that the Holy Spirit will guide me. I am not ashamed of big purchases in my life because I know and still can totally recognize when God is blessing me. I just don't want to lose sight of that.
Anyway, I also find that I see far to many people seeking relationships that benefit them verses building relationships based on who God wants us to interact with. Have we lost our inability just have pure friendships? No. I am not that pessimistic, but I do wonder how a celebrity mentality and materialist natures affects our ability to interact with one another.
Like it or not I have to realize that America has its own caste system of sorts. Researchers say it is rare that people are able to relate to people too far out on either end of their financial status. I suppose that stems from the culture associated with the mentality of people at different financial points. But, what dawns on me today, is that in our Christian culture we create such a caste system as well. We base so much on levels of spirituality - my goodness look at how many denominations we have created for ourselves! It's insane. Instead of drawing together and growing as the body of Christ we base our relationships on perceived spirituality.
All this said, I guess I want people just to like me for me - not for what I have done or how I look. I want to make sure I don't lose who I am in God at this moment. I want to grow in Him, not grow in me. I realize I am a little out there tonight in my thinking, I blame it on my brain trying to adjust to its new freedom from school. And, I suppose American Idol tonight has driven me toward considering celebrity. Our culture puts such a demand on us doesn't it?
I wish I could tie in a mentor moment, but I suppose the only thing I really have with regards to this is my own observations of her. She exudes a humble spirit and graciousness. For me, that has been a consistent observation. No doubt, God has blessed her. But honestly, I don't think you would be aware of how much if you just met her on the street. So, I guess that is it. We buy what we need to buy to do our best to represent God to the fullest. We realize that we are not seeking to cover insecurity, but seeking to be our best. We enjoy the richness of the blessings and keep a humble attitude with regard to the blessings. We know that others are always watching and learn to be considerate of others as we share the abundance with those who are less fortunate. I guess that it is it for tonight.
Peace out peeps.
With regards to accomplishments, I tend to be fiercely private about them. I suppose, that stems from having been exposed to a few too many egotistical people in my life. I just think we ought to be able to build relationships with one another not based on our previous merit. This is hard though because we need our accomplishments to build our credibility professionally, but do we need that interpersonally as well? I get that there are times when we have to claim where we have been so people can know why we matter. But relationally, I think this hurts us. It is too bad this system can't be simpler.
Take my calling for example. To succeed I will have to be totally obsessed with God. Check. I have to know His Word and keep trying to know it better until my last breath. Check. But, to get the message out and share what I am learning I have to first prove that I am not a psycho terrorist creating a new religion - so I get degrees from credible schools. Next, I have to build platforms. To do this in our culture I need a book, or a blog, or like a super connection that validates that God is blessing my life (no pressure right?). Then I have to work on getting in shape physically and work on my outer appearance because like it our not people both Christians and non are distracted by our appearance (all while eluding an obsession with vanity). It's not about restructuring my look away from Gods intended purpose for me, but it is about making sure I present the most polished version of said self in cloths that match so that I can be taken seriously. But how far do we go?
I once observed a lady who is the president of a pretty popular conference. In a down moment I was privy to a conversation about her jacket which was a $1000 dollars - just her jacket. She was totally cool with it and very nonchalant. I kind of wanted to rip it from her body so that I could make my car payment at the time, but I resisted LOL. But that is not the point...This woman who I just observed on stage asking people to support a myriad of charities like orphans was wearing a jacket that could feed like 20 of them. There was something about the timing of that moment that just hit me spiritually. I don't disrespect this woman. We have to look good. It is the nature of the beast and the culture in which we live. We have to buy cars, we have to have homes - we are not all called to live in a tent barely living, but how far do we go? Where is the line of enjoying God's blessings and buying a $1000 dollar jacket? I think what got me that day was not the fact that the jacket was expensive - honestly, I could careless about that. Solomon after all had the best of the best and I don't disrespect him. I guess it was just the attitude of that moment - like that it was just normal. Nothing special. Not a blessing from God. It was just one of many things that could be cast aside casually on a sofa.
Don't get me wrong, I am materialistic at heart, but I am working to spend my money wisely. I don't have a list of do's and don'ts. I spend money on the things that matter to me and on the things I need to do my job well without particular reservation. I am a technology fein and if I could I would right now replace this heap of metal in my lap with a brand new computer that would help me in so many ways - this one isn't broken, but I am aware of the fact that it limits me. It's the same with everything else in life. I could shop like my life depended on it if I wasn't going through a season of severe "broke-ness." I am from Texas for crying out loud and our culture is go big or go home. Take pride in what you do, how you look and how you act. And on the verge of being thrown out into the public eye, I know the cost of what needs to be done to make a serious effort toward pursuing my calling. When in Rome, do as the Romans do - that is how you reach them right?
I suppose I just want to be aware of my limits. I know that the Holy Spirit will guide me. I am not ashamed of big purchases in my life because I know and still can totally recognize when God is blessing me. I just don't want to lose sight of that.
Anyway, I also find that I see far to many people seeking relationships that benefit them verses building relationships based on who God wants us to interact with. Have we lost our inability just have pure friendships? No. I am not that pessimistic, but I do wonder how a celebrity mentality and materialist natures affects our ability to interact with one another.
Like it or not I have to realize that America has its own caste system of sorts. Researchers say it is rare that people are able to relate to people too far out on either end of their financial status. I suppose that stems from the culture associated with the mentality of people at different financial points. But, what dawns on me today, is that in our Christian culture we create such a caste system as well. We base so much on levels of spirituality - my goodness look at how many denominations we have created for ourselves! It's insane. Instead of drawing together and growing as the body of Christ we base our relationships on perceived spirituality.
All this said, I guess I want people just to like me for me - not for what I have done or how I look. I want to make sure I don't lose who I am in God at this moment. I want to grow in Him, not grow in me. I realize I am a little out there tonight in my thinking, I blame it on my brain trying to adjust to its new freedom from school. And, I suppose American Idol tonight has driven me toward considering celebrity. Our culture puts such a demand on us doesn't it?
I wish I could tie in a mentor moment, but I suppose the only thing I really have with regards to this is my own observations of her. She exudes a humble spirit and graciousness. For me, that has been a consistent observation. No doubt, God has blessed her. But honestly, I don't think you would be aware of how much if you just met her on the street. So, I guess that is it. We buy what we need to buy to do our best to represent God to the fullest. We realize that we are not seeking to cover insecurity, but seeking to be our best. We enjoy the richness of the blessings and keep a humble attitude with regard to the blessings. We know that others are always watching and learn to be considerate of others as we share the abundance with those who are less fortunate. I guess that it is it for tonight.
Peace out peeps.
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