I feel like my brain is starting to function again today. I have seriously felt in a fog mentally. I am slowly feeling more alive and ready to pursue what God has for me next. It is a weird transition coming off graduation. It is funny to me that it is weird EVERY SINGLE TIME. It's not like this is the first time for me, I should be used to it by now - yet, it feels different. It feels like a catalyst opportunity to spring me forward into a new phase of life. Have you ever had a moment like that?
Anyway, it is late and I just finished with another Jesus Moment on the floor in my house. I seem to be on my face prostrate before God a lot more than usual this year. I suppose I am aware of the war in me and the spiritual warfare around me. I am working to submit myself to God 100% but there is a part of me that fights to give up and not be concerned with it. I don't want that part of me to win this battle. If I can't be sold out, I would rather be nothing. Fear drives the insecurity to give up but anticipation of what lies ahead drives me to become all I can be via God's direction in my life. I need a job, but I sense God just telling me to chill this week and relax. I have a project to work on, but again God's just saying chill, relax, reset, get my house in order. Being driven can sometimes be a distraction. But, I do love me some chill time so I suppose I should just embrace it.
I am just excited to do what God will have me do. Am I destined to be great? I think so. I think all of us are. I just think that "greatness" is defined differently for each of us. Greatness doesn't come in our power, it comes via the display of God's greatness in us. It doesn't matter if we feel capable, it matters that we are available. I'm different. I know that. It is evident with how people treat me. I don't get - I don't see it - but are we really capable of seeing our own potential? I think it is best that we don't - at least for me - pride comes easily to this native Texan :O)
My Jesus moment tonight was about asking God once again to take all of me. I want Him to purify me and wash me clean. I want Him to heal me and to use me. I want nothing more in the free world than to know that I am pursuing God's will in my life. I want to receive the blessings He has for me. It is a scary time being on the verge of something new and having no idea what that new thing is, but hey at least it keeps life interesting.
I feel God telling me to be strong and pursue the tasks He puts before me with courage. Including this blog project. I will be equally strong in pursuing my calling. I will do my best to pursue God with my whole heart and a willing mind. Today that means getting back into my blog and starting my reading project.
This morning, I watch more from the Bread of Life series from her segments on Life Today with James and Betty Robinson. God used it to remind me of two particular points. First, God's presence is a fact and that God is with us 24/7. Second, it's fellowship that activates the feeling of divine presence. We can't just treat God like a drive through, we have to aware of Him, quiet with Him, and hear His still small voice and read His word. All, I have to say to this is: well done future BFF - this is a strong Word and great encouragement for me today.
Second, I started my book project. Best I can tell, A Heart Like His is the beginning. I think one of the poetry books came first, but my copyrights in the books I have don't indicate that - if it is wrong you can shoot me :O). So, for now God ordains that in this moment I will start here the earliest book in the series of books that I have. I can see that now would be a great time to be reminded of the story of David. I am anxious to dive in.
Today I gleaned a fresh reminder that man looks @ outward appearance, but God looks at the heart (8). I was reminded that God chose David and that God doesn't work on sense, He works on grace. She wrote, "He called You - He called me - He knew what He was doing" (10). I was reminded that He loves us, calls us, redeems us, and uses us totally b/c of who He is. And, that the God who prepared David has also prepared me throughout my life. I am to never assume that to follow Him means to through away who He has made me to be. Well shoot. I think with God's help she hit the proverbial nail on the head.
God's timing amuses me. I can't think of a better time to be encouraged about being chosen. I can't think of a better time to be reminded of God's presence and my relationship with Him. God is good all the time. I'm off to revel in the moment.
God's blessings upon you. May God blow your mind today :O)
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