Day 85 "Any Given Day"

Dude, submitting to God's will has to be the best thing about my life. Boring opener right? But it is so true I just can't help but express it. Who would of thought letting God be in control would make life so wonderful? I'm loving the journey so far even though sometimes it has been a little uncomfortable. The cool thing about letting God be in control is that any given day - anything can happen.

I told you I felt like that it was going to be a good weekend here in the ATL. I didn't meet Ludacris, but I have met so many amazing people since I have been here - words can't express how encouraged I have felt today. Plus, I have felt so official because now I have this:

LOL. Why is it that name tags make us feel so important? I hope we get name tags in heaven :O) And, they make getting to know people so much easier - no pressure to remember people's names. So, I am still living the posh life in the hotel. Did I tell you they have Starbucks coffee as the in room offering? It is like I am meant to live here :O) Well, I know my mentor would appreciate it anyway....

So, I always look for a BFF when I go places by myself. God provided today. I love making new friends it is so much fun. Craziest thing is that as we got to know each other better - I found out that I went to school with her brother! The world is so small sometimes. So, I just realized that I have never really talked about being a missionary on this blog. Mainly because my time is spent reflecting on what I am learning from BM. So, I work for the North American Mission Board for a while and my job is to help people start new churches. That is the short end of it - if you want to know more just ask me and I will write a post about it sometime.

Can you tell I just drank the free Starbucks coffee? :O) OK - to my mentor moment. She is in Tucson - can you believe she didn't take me with her? Unbelievable! But I am kind of busy so I forgive her :O) I'm loving this hotel time because it is giving me time to catch up on my insecurity readings and reflections. Here is what stood out to me today:

As God took me through the journey that became the Bible study Breaking Free, He taught me to look for a common denominator among the things that triggered my destructive habits. Even then I came up with insecurity as the dominant answer. Christ performed a miracle on my heart and my mind through His Word and brought a decisive end to some behaviors and addictive tendencies I had battle almost all my life. It wasn't until the last few years though that I realized we had somehow never gotten all the way down to the deepest root of all: my persisting insecurity. Sometimes you have to shove all the surface stuff to the side in order to see what' underneath. Keep in mind that it took me a while to identify my ongoing problem because it only reared it's head in certain select areas of my life. I was completely secure in others. Finally, those select areas caused me enough misery to make the pivotal God-fed decision: I don't have to live this way anymore.

-Beth Moore, So Long Insecurity, 151

Is she talking right into my life or what? This is what my heart has been screaming since day one of this blog. How can I be so secure yet have these failings simultaneously. And, thankfully God has chosen this year for me to go deeper in my life. To push it back and get down and dirty with the dark recesses of my soul where insecurity lives and breathes. And, though in some ways I have all ready made this decision - I AM NOT GOING TO LIVE THIS WAY ANYMORE. I am ready to live free from it! And today, I put it to the test. I really wanted to swim in that pool here at the hotel. But who feels secure in a swimsuit? So I said, after reading this - forget it - I'm swimming and it as such a blast! I love being in the water - I forget how much sometimes. A small victory, but a victory nonetheless. Me and my chubby self had a blast today!

Oh friend - I hope on some level this crazy post encourages you. Life is really more fun when we just push past our insecurities and let God bless us. I am not perfect at - after all I am only half way through the book telling me how to live without it :O) But, really God's been brewing this in my heart - my mentor is just driving the message home. I am thankful for that. OK, I really must be off. I have homework to do!

Blessings peeps.