Today seemed to represent fall arriving in these parts. School starts soon. It was rainy and like 72 - so of course both of the local Dunkin Doughnut Parking lots were full to the brim - crazy. I am beginning to think our church plan for fall should just be to have service at Dunkin - it could work.... :O)
The service was good this morning - God seems to just be happily helping me with my healing goals. I learned a great deal from the pastor on the role of wives and husbands - quiet simply the best sermon on this subject I have ever heard (based on Eph 5:21-32). It ministered to me b/c in this is my season of praying for my future husband to be (whoever he may be) - I like knowing what I am allowed to expect - and also what I can work on in my life now to be all that he expects. It was a good moment.
Since it is random Sunday's - I thought I would like to share the verse that is part of day 2 of my healing project:
"You are my friends if you so what I command you. I do not call you slave anymore, because a slave doesn't know what his Master is doing. I have called you friends because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my Father. " - John 15:14-15
I know this seems like an odd verse, but this one spoke to me in the area of friendship and relationships today. I am praying for new friendships in my life and asking God to prepare my heart for those new friendships - this concept of laying down my life for another really strikes a cord in my heart. I am fiercely loyal as a friend - but I am also extremely broken in leu of betrayal and I don't know how to restore trust to a brutalized relationship. So my area of fault is knowing when to work toward restoration & knowing when to walk away. All told, it means I now choose my deep friendships carefully - I choose acquaintance more then friendships lately and that is something I want to change.
My flaw is giving too much access to my heart. Loyalty is good. Allowing others to see my true heart is good. But, I must remember not to be too dependent on what I receive from those friendships b/c if they fill a void of some sort in my life - friends often do don't they? - the fall out of that band aid being removed from my life is never positive.
That being said - and I know I am rambling today - don't blame me - it's sunday and it's rainy and the only thing I can properly process today is NAPS :O) - BUT ANYWAY - I like the reminder that Jesus is my friend - always more loyal than me on my best days. This component of our relationship with Him has always been first and foremost on things I like best about Jesus. Having a friend stick closer than a brother - an only child who moved a lot and had no brothers - well it was like a match made in heaven :O) So - as I heal from broken friendships - I rejoice in the fact that there is one friend in my life who will never cause me pain. And, I look forward to how my new healed heart will fair as I work to be vulnerable again and find new friends.
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