Day 228 "Eat, Pray, Love"

I did all three of these today in no particular order.

You see, I have been looking forward to today since Saturday - but today did not turn out as planned.

The reason I was so excited was that I was going to get to spend some time with my mom (who has been away for 3 months) by going to see the movie "Eat, Pray, Love." Consequently I would get to experience eating, praying and loving with a cool mom. WELL, I woke up in terrible, terrible pain - Sigh. I tried to sleep it off, but to no avail. I decided to try and pretend like I wasn't b/c I really wanted to hang out with my mom. So, I got dressed up - put on my happy face and off to one of my most favorite activities in the whole world - MOVIES!!!

We got popcorn and coke and settled right in. The movie was quiet interesting. This woman was off to find her passion for life. I can relate - can't we all? IF I had the means, I guarantee that I would take up her adventure (with a God-centered approach) without hesitation. I think it is pertinent to access our passions on a regular basis - not that they have to change per se - but just to charge them up and make sure we are living life in the right direction. The downer for this character was that she was looking in all the wrong places. She tried praying, but she didn't know who to pray too. So she ends up finding gods - but the right one. She finds that her strength comes from within. And, ultimately redefines what love for herself and others is. Actually, she seemed to be a real picture of the modern woman. Yearning for truth, but not knowing how to really find it. Knowing that the story is based on a real woman, I actually was really encouraged that she may one day find the real truth. God tells us if we seek we shall find - my only concern is that if she is not careful she may end up defining God as unique within herself - she is walking a fine line of believing that all ready. Nonetheless, I found her attempts to discover life in a fresh way to be inspiring and they give me a specific way to pray for people at large. My heart broke that she was so close to understanding how God truly works in our life....but that hairline fracture of a step the enemy keeps so many from stepping - it's eternally threatening and so many are in her shoes - and with this movie - so many more will be in the same shoes - BUMMER. But, I'll do my best to fight for those who are so close! Will you?

Alas, deep thinking aside - popcorn and coke did not help my situation - even though it was some of the best popcorn and coke I have had in a long time! We were off to meet my dad for dinner and then - all went down hill for me. I couldn't even eat my dinner and it was very hard to keep up a positive outward appearance - so I boxed up my dinner and went home - defeated by my inability to be a very fun date on a day that I had looked so forward too. BUMMER.

Overall, trying to cover my pain made me looked insincere with my approach to life. Insincerity always leads someone to be disappointed in us doesn't it? I really did try to fake it, but nothing good came of it - even though I had a great time at the movie, I feel sure no one really enjoyed my company.

It got me quiet thinking about life and our Christian walk. Sincerity is the force that drives me, but today's unplanned faked emotion really taught me how important it is that we live as we are, whether we think that will be accepted or not. Cause when we don't we lose anyway. If we just live in the light and really live as ourselves - whether people like us or not doesn't really matter because we are being who we are and seeking only to please our heavenly Father.

Looking for an example to provide me encouragement - I am reminded of what attracts me to my spiritual BFF as a mentor. She really does seem to constantly access her current situations. Look, I am sure she has days just like me, where it all doesn't come together. But, it is apparent, especially since she willingly took up being a poster child for insecurity, that she is willing to work at being sincere as much as possible. It's what I glean the most from her - when she senses something isn't right - she studies and gets as real as she can before God to work "that thing out" until it's handled and she can live free from it.

Today, I bombed at life. But with a good nights sleep - I should be better prepared for the hope that waits for me in the morning. It's about learning to live perpetually free with God. I know that is what I am to learn from Beth, but I am not yet confident that this is worthy enough of a post to count as a major insight. But knowing that someone else out there in the free world struggles to find the balance of truly walking free in Christ helps me hold fast to truths like that in Galatians 5:1

"Christ has liberated us into freedom. Therefore stand firm and don't submit again to a yoke of slavery."

Live free peeps.