Another day in Boston. God is speaking to me so much here that I am actually considering moving here so I can hear Him better all the time. :0) I know the reality is that I am away from distractions (except the ones in my head of course) and I am in a place both in life and environmentally that is conducive for hearing and receiving a Word from God, but nonetheless - I feel pretty aware these last few days.
I just started reading this book tonight: Rescuing Ambition by Dave Harvey. He defines ambition as "the instinctual motivation to aspire to things, to make something happen, to have an impact, to count for something in life." And then it hit me, that is what is different about me this week. I knew my BFF and mentor had inspired me to be more secure, but this additional drive associated with such a lifestyle change is AMBITION! God has given me a new level of ambition. I'm dreaming big again - I am believing in the impossible. I am actually open to God doing absolutely anything in my life. I am receptive to Him using me for big things even though I think I am a weird choice for that. Ambition, the benefit of security. I could get use to this.
I've always been especially driven. I would say my natural personality is ambitious. But hard knocks and people scars can really knock a spirit down you know? Right now, however, it kind of feels like spiritually I am on Red Bull. But, some how I don't even think I have seen the half of it. At 29 is my journey with God only still at the beginning? Does it really keep getting better and better? I think so.
Reading about ambition made me realize why I am so drawn to Beth - she is ambitious and she inspires me to be ambitious. She is willing to "go there" with God and commit whole heartedly to the things He asks her to do - even if that means spilling her guts or speaking in front of large audiences that would make even the best of speakers want to throw up! At least that is my perception of the situation. Whether it is true of not, her example makes me want to be better - it makes me want to be so radically changed by my relationship with God that I somehow find that way to deny myself completely and take up the cross and follow Jesus to places I can't even imagine. It makes me want to take risks and make bold moves. Ultimately, it isn't her per se - it is the work of the Holy Spirit I see moving in her. Either way, I am driven to be more like Jesus and more intimate with God the Father that we share.
Hmm. Good stuff for my soul...
Side note: My mind is also on people today. I've been thinking a lot about my relationships and the type of people my spirit is naturally drawn to and why I am drawn to them. There are a few people of late that pop in my mind all the time. There has to be a reason for this or maybe part of my brain is just OCD. But, the new me is working to be open to what God is doing here by reminding me of these people. What am I doing about it? Well, I'm trying to be obedient to God and incorporate them into my life in one way or another - who knows - maybe God will bless me with some friends as a result. After all, I am "mentorless" and hopefully God won't have me keep making them up forever right? LOL. Oh, I am rambling - my brain is done for the day. Peace out peeps.
2 comments:
I know exactly what you mean about Beth being a mentor. I haven't really thought about it that way but it's true. She has (unknowingly) helped me through so many times in my life through many different ways that I can't count them. I know that God is speaking through her and I am so thankful for that! She is such an awesome inspiration and maybe one day we could all have a Starbucks together in heaven!!! Ha ha.
hahaha - iknowright? it will be cool to just experience uninterrupted fellowship with one another in heaven. there are so many people I want to get to know better!
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