Well, most wouldn't consider the start to my day as exactly early, but I can say that this morning is the first morning I have been a part of willingly this week! Such a breath of fresh air to my soul. I didn't really get any more sleep last night, but just having God wake me up in timely way was so awesome. I was up reading the prophets of the OT until I feel asleep - there is some really interesting stuff in those books. Check them out sometime peeps! One cool thing that stood out to me last night was from Joel 2:13-14 (this time from the Message):
Change your life, not your clothes. Come back to God, your God. And here's why: God is kind and merciful. He takes a deep breath, puts up with a lot. This most patient God, extravagant in love, always ready to cancel catastrophe. Who knows? Maybe he'll do it now, maybe he'll turn around and show you pity. Maybe, when all's said and done, there's be blessings full and robust for your God!
Change your life, not your clothes? LOL. Love it. It is what I am striving for after all, a changed life. I was thinking last night that God sure does seem to be closing door after door, which is odd... sense I am on full alert to see what doors will open. But thinking on verses like this keeps life in perspective. God is always willing to cancel catastrophe. Lord knows I experience a great deal of catastrophe on my own, so if closing doors spares me it then bring it on I say!! :O)
Anyway, so last night I got caught up on like 30 blog posts. Whew - total carpel tunnel right? LOL. Nah. It isn't that bad. Actually, working on it encouraged me a great deal. Most of it I have written up in my journal so it's about just sparing you some of the gory details and sharing what I feel seems right on here. Speaking of sharing, God has totally creeped me out in a good way this morning. How? Well, as soon as I got up I was ready to get over here and finish up my blog. Two days to the half way point of my journey and I would really like to be as caught up as possible with my posting. So, with the BFF on my mind it felt obvious to me that I should check her blog out today and well of course God used it to tell me something new.
These last couple of weeks I have really wondered how real we should be in ministry. I don't mean in regards to honesty or sharing what God is doing. But, I have wondered how far do we go with sharing our stories? How much of ourselves do we really allow the people we are ministering too to see? How much do we let our friends and family see? What's just for our own walk? With so many failed relationships in the wake of my life, let's just say I have some hesitancy as I move forward with who God wants me to be. And well, this morning God spoke to that prayer through my self-proclaimed mentor. It seems apparent that we do what God tells us to do and if we realize later that we need to do more, then we do more.
I am acutely aware of God's timing these days. I think it is so ironic that on her blog last night, with me having no clue, she was writing about some troubling feelings she was having regarding A Heart Like His, just as I was posting my last post on how God use A Heart Like His to really enhance my life and change me for the better. See, I told you I couldn't make this stuff up. Whether anyone reads my blog of not, at least I have it to document the fact that I am not crazy. :O)
One of the things that spoke to me most this morning was when she wrote:
Praise His Name, He really does grow us up in knowledge and in grace. He is so patient. So merciful. But just in case some of you have only done one of the earliest unrevised Bible studies and didn’t hear it as clearly as you should have, hear me clearly today: GOD IS THE ONLY REASON WHY I CAN HOLD MY HEAD UP LONG ENOUGH TO DRAW A BREATH. ANYTHING IN MY LIFE OF VALUE IS FROM HIM ALONE. HE IS MY DECENCY. HE IS MY ONLY HONOR. WITHOUT HIM, I’M A TOTAL WRECK. I DO NOT DESERVE TO BE IN MINISTRY. I DID NOT EARN IT. ALL THAT I HAVE TO OFFER IS HIM.
He’s it. Plain and simple. Gorgeous and complex.
:O) Oh mano. Sometimes it concerns me that as we grow older our relationship with God grows more complex. Sometimes it concerns me that God will always show us ways we could have served Him more completely if we were willing to take bigger risks. But you know, I am still willing to try. And, I know God supplements my life with BM because He intends to push me further into the person He intends me to be. I love this reminder to stay humble. I love this reminder that we are who God wants us to be only because God allows us to become it. We are only valuable to the extent that God works in us and through us.
I am a wreck too. I know that is why I relate to BM the way I do. It will be interesting to see in heaven how God will use this unique time in my life with BM as my fake mentor to guide me in the way I should go. If she feels she doesn't deserve to be in ministry what hope do I have LOL? The same as her :O) All in all this brings to mind and old Hymn, The Solid Rock. It represents my heart this morning and will serve as my conclusion:
My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand.
When darkness veils His lovely face, I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale, my anchor holds within the veil.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand.
His oath, His covenant, and His blood, support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand.
When He shall come with trumpet sound, Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone, Faultless to stand before the throne.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand.
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