Often, we just don't know what God is doing. So often we think we do but, the truth is, we just don't. Thankfully, He does. He really does. He doesn't need our help. Our brilliant ideas. Or our last ditch efforts because He ignored our first ten suggestions. He just wants our cooperation.
- Beth Moore, LPM Blog, January 16
Today was an interesting day. I don't really know how to explain it. There was nothing bad about it, yet I could not shake this feeling that I am under the strongest spiritual attack. Yet, I've just known all day that God is with me, still protecting me. God confirmed His protection for me through my pastor's sermon. Through the story of Jacob & Laban in Genesis 31, God reminded me that He has a plan for me. And, that even when I sin or make mistakes (like Jacob) He can redeem me and do His good work. (If you have read the story of Jacob, man this is a messed up story in the beginning - I'm telling you too messed up for me to get into now....but if you ever want to read a soap opera - this will do it.) Right now, I don't feel like I need redemption from any overt sin in my life. As you can tell from the blog, God has enabled me to live free so far this year. However, I will not deny that my biggest weakness is still insecurity.
I admit this because it is the way the enemy attacks me. If you have been reading my blog posts up until this point you will know God has taken me to a new level in being secure with Him. I've been kicking the Evil One off my land for almost a month now, but today, words can hardly describe the mental war in my head. I know it is because I am allowing God to take over any remaining damaged parts of me and redeem them. But the enemy will not have it. Through the strength God provides I will prevails.
Through her blog today, Beth reminds me that it doesn't matter if I get what is going on in my life - all I need to do is cooperate with God through the process. For now, that means just keeping on...keeping on... you know? Today this was difficult. God desired for me to let a friend in on the strong insecurities I was feeling in my head. I'll be honest, this was super hard & I almost did not do it. But you know what? Letting a friend in on what lies the Enemy was working to convince me of really did make a difference. Telling her seemed to kind of take power from the Enemy and give me a little more strength to fight him off. Imagine that - cooperating with God's Spirit inside me really did pay off today :O)
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present not the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 8:38-39.
Song of the Day: Thankful by Mary Mary
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